... so this is another one of those "Do What I Say Not What I Do" scenarios, right? Man, you guys are so unfair.

5. It’s rather rude (on occasion).

4. She probably bruises easily, thereby suffering terribly while sitting.

3. The chances of her growing so weary of walking about with one hand constantly protecting her rear that she leaves you get stronger and stronger every day.

2. Every time she’s in the kitchen, you have to buy a new plate or a new glass or that really expensive gravy boat that costs more than you make in a month.

1. One day, you may find yourself in the awkward position of explaining to your two-year-old daughter why it’s not okay for her to reach up and slap the ass of the lady leaning over the counter in front of you in the checkout lane at Big Lots.

And you will never EVER live that one down.

Trust me.