... so this is another one of those "Do What I Say Not What I Do" scenarios, right? Man, you guys are so unfair.
5. It’s rather rude (on occasion).
4. She probably bruises easily, thereby suffering terribly while sitting.
3. The chances of her growing so weary of walking about with one hand constantly protecting her rear that she leaves you get stronger and stronger every day.
2. Every time she’s in the kitchen, you have to buy a new plate or a new glass or that really expensive gravy boat that costs more than you make in a month.
1. One day, you may find yourself in the awkward position of explaining to your two-year-old daughter why it’s not okay for her to reach up and slap the ass of the lady leaning over the counter in front of you in the checkout lane at Big Lots.
And you will never EVER live that one down.
Trust me.
Sandy
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 17:58Ok..just change to object being grabbed to BOOB and you will know My situation…though Babyhead only grabs mine at the moment. ROFL
Judith Shakespeare
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 18:19I would have been MUCH less embarrassed had she slapped mine instead… I’m still sort of in shock, I tell you.
Shirley
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 18:16MrB still hasn’t gotten in through his head that he should stop this behavior, and after hearing me giggle my way through the post, insists he will continue until he is old and dead.
Thanks for the laugh, I’ve got tears running down my face!
Kyla
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 18:17LOL! That is so not something you can live down.
Rachael
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 18:41Holy cow, that is hilarious. But I am sorry. So, so sorry.
melissa
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 19:09oh excuse me…i just snorted…
bwahahahahhahaahhahahahaha!!!!
Maria
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 19:13Why does it not save my info. :(
I leave comments and then I lose thing because I forgot to check if my info was there.
It was a kick ass comment this time too.
Judith Shakespeare
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 19:20Ugh, I KNOW. I’m going to figure that out this evening… It’s a glitch of sorts that is outside of my knowledge. (If any of you know how to fix that, let me know). But I’ll hack and hack until it works right… or flirt shamelessly with one of the code monkeys over at twitter.
Judith Shakespeare
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 20:02Okay. Fixed. Because I’m smarter than I thought I was…
Lisa
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 19:26Ummm hold on….bwhahahaha!
Now you see why I got rid of the man? This was reason #43534662 :)
Ashley
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 19:27Wow. Lol, that’s awesome. Well, it’s awesome only bc it’s your kid and not mine…otherwise, I’d be…slightly embarrassed…only bc I peed my pants laughing so hard in the store!
Angie
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 19:45OMG! This is fabulous! I am the culprit of the ass slapping in my house. I am obesses with the kids butts and am always smacking them. SOOOO we go visit my mom. The boys slapped her butt, papa’s butt, my sister’s butt. Shoot any butt they could find. Did it stop me? Nope.
Ann
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 20:13Brilliant!
LaskiGal
Monday, 4 August, 2008 at 23:22Oh, but what a good blog post it will make . . .
Jewels
Tuesday, 5 August, 2008 at 0:18*snort*…oh sorry! Thanks for the laugh and I’m sorry about the shock. Hopefully you’ll recover soon.
the planet of janet
Tuesday, 5 August, 2008 at 1:34bwahahahahahahahahaha …
*pause for deep breath and to wipe diet coke off of computer screen*
bwaahhahahahahahahahahaaaa…
rachel
Tuesday, 5 August, 2008 at 7:53That is hysterical, it’s amazing the things they’ll pick up and imitate. Ha Ha Ha!!
She’s getting so big, and look at that long hair!
Mary
Tuesday, 5 August, 2008 at 10:39My mom can relate to this one because it was me who embarrassed her about 30 years ago when I goosed a woman at K-Mart, exclaiming loudly as my father always did, “Goooooooooose!” Thankfully, we don’t have this kind of issue in my household.
Jennae
Tuesday, 5 August, 2008 at 12:23Love the list! I get such a kick out of seeing kids being so innocent and just totally embarrassing their parents! Maybe the moms and dads of the world will finally learn that their kids are a lot more receptive and paying attention than we all think.
skiplovey
Tuesday, 5 August, 2008 at 16:05Hoo boy that’s precious. I’m sure she got a total pass though, look at how cute she is.
Qweenie
Wednesday, 6 August, 2008 at 0:01My ass hurts too!!
I am FORCING the mister to read this post so that he will see that not only am I not alone in the bruised ass dept. but also that his kids aren’t the only ass slappers out there….
LOL, Big Lots…..hope she had a sense of humor!!
Jenni
Wednesday, 6 August, 2008 at 17:11Bwahahaha! What did she do? (the Big Lots lady)
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 7 August, 2008 at 15:02Nothing, really. She just looked down at the baby and then looked at Peter– who was bright red and apologizing profusely. Serves him right, the pervert. LOL
Tara R.
Thursday, 7 August, 2008 at 13:09Did she also yell “who’s ya Daddy!’
kerri
Thursday, 7 August, 2008 at 13:18what about the boys? do they run around smacking ‘girls’ asses? I’d like him to explain that one.
Donna
Thursday, 7 August, 2008 at 15:00I broke an ex of doing this in one night. I simply told him if he did it again I’d punch him in the stomach. He did not believe me and later that evening, he smacked me again then got this big grin on his face like he was daring me to follow through with my threat… so I did. Unfortunately he leaned toward me just as I punched thereby making my punch harder (and higher) than I intended… right in the solar plexis and all of the wind from his lungs in one whoosh… he falls to his knees, the bouncer comes over to see if there’s a problem and all his buddies he threw darts with laughing their asses off at the fact I’d put him on his knees. He never did it again.
amy
Thursday, 7 August, 2008 at 16:56Probably should apply that to my “we better hurry and get to the restaurant before the fat man does and eats all the food”. And then there’s a fat man there and Little Bit starts freaking out that all the noodles will be gone.
Marie
Thursday, 7 August, 2008 at 21:20My nephew grabbed my boob because he saw his dad doing this to his mom all the time and thought this is how you treat a woman. Sometimes there really is justice!!
kookimebux
Sunday, 1 February, 2009 at 14:54Hello. And Bye. :)