Tuesday, January 1, 2008 | 16 responses | Filed Under: Eat Me, Martha Stewart!
Life must have rules.
As parents, we know this. Straightforward or found hidden within the depths of the Fruit Loops box, these rules are what keep us safe. What keep us sane. (And with three heathens running afoot, sanity is definitely among my top concerns here.) They are what shape our sophisticated little modern lives. They are the necessary evil- the hamartia in our hedonistic hero.
Yep.
Life must have rules.
These rules, they are our reminders of the lessons, both big and small, that we've already learned. They are the "been there done that and probably won't survive if I try it again" stories. They are the stuffs of fairy tales- of Pinocchios and Little Pigs. They are unique and personal and common and universal all at once.
Yep.
Life must have rules. Especially ones such as:
Never ever just tell your husband to pick you up some "pads". Always be specific. Always tell him the name brand, the color of the bag, the approximate location in the store, the average price, and perhaps even the way the bag will sound if dropped on the WalMart floor. Never ever just tell your husband to pick you up some "pads". Even if he's been picking you up pads for nigh on a decade now.
Else you may find yourself holding a bag of Poise Bladder Control Protection items when you'd gladly give over your firstborn in exchange for a super-thin Always maxi-pad with wings.
You see, that, that, is a good rule.
However, another equally good rule is:
Always remember to apologize sweetly to said husband after throwing rather large (yet soft) bag of Poise Bladder Control Protection Items at his head out of frustration… Especially if, three or four days later on New Year's in the wee hours of the morning when there is frost on the ground and not a nearby pharmacy or grocer open; you, while cleaning up the results of The Baby's newly found love for candied yams, suddenly find yourself without diapers. NOT A SINGLE SOLITARY DIAPER ANYWHERE. NOT IN THE CAR, NOT IN THE DIAPER BAG, NOT UNDER THE CUSHION OF THE COUCH…
And even better:
Be sure to pat yourself on the back- maybe even go so far as go out and buy yourself a little prize- for your amazing ability to think creatively in tough situations. Especially if, on New Year's in the
wee hours of the morning when there is frost on the ground and not a
nearby pharmacy or grocer open; you, while cleaning up the results of
The Baby's newly found love for candied yams, suddenly find yourself
without diapers. And you, the MacGyver in heels that you are, think to fasten a Poise Bladder Control Protection Item onto a pair of toddler underwear and manage to save the day (and the sheets).
Yep.
Life must have rules.
But I'm cool with that.
January 1, 2008
That is great…I am very proud of you…you definitely deserve some sort of trinket for your inventiveness!!
Judith Says:Me too, honey, me too! :)
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January 1, 2008
You? Are awesome.
Judith Says:Right at this moment- this very moment- I completely and totally agree with you.
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January 1, 2008
LOL! Absolutely adorable honey! How did A enjoy her pads?
You are one cool McGyver in heels!
Thanks for the laugh!!
Judith Says: I don't think that she really noticed, truth be told. Although it would have been nice for the only witness to my genius to actually give a rat's ass, you know? LOL.
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January 1, 2008
Love you! So nice to hear your voice today, and A's!!!
I tagged you. It's the Meme from hell, IMO. But you're opinionated and I respect you so I hope you do it.
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January 1, 2008
Brilliant!!
Hope the rest of your holidays were a blast, seems like forever since we last spoke…..
Hope to talk to you soon honey!!
~Q
Judith Says:It has been forever hasn't it, honey? Mine were hectic and hectic-er. Hope yours were fabulous!
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January 2, 2008
I wonder if the reverse would work? If you are out of pads, can you use a diaper?
Judith Says:Even though the thought scares me… why not? LOL.
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January 2, 2008
@ Jenni~
Yes, yes you can…..sadly
Judith Says:LMAO.
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January 2, 2008
You are right. I now know that the problem is not only on my husband. It's the same everywhere, isn't it?
Well, thanks for the tip on how to handle it. I will be using it when my husband picks up the wrong stuff (sometimes I think he did it on purpose … )
Judith Says:LOL. He probably does do it on purpose… I'm thinking mine does. :)
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January 2, 2008
macguyver in heels…hilarious! that, my friend, was quick thinking! sometimes, our dumb husbands dumb mistakes…well, they happen for a reason, huh?
xoxo
Judith Says:Dumb husbands make dumb mistakes. Agreed. LOL.
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January 2, 2008
Your brrrilllliant! Definitely McGyver worthy.
Judith Says:Why thank you!
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January 2, 2008
God, I just love you.
Judith Says: I love you too, honey! But you really probably shouldn't call me God… it'll give me a complex or something.
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January 3, 2008
Love it! Thanks, I'll definitely remember that rule!
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January 4, 2008
I believe that the cell phone was invented for the sole purpose of talking husbands through buying pads in real-time. I need step by step guidance, and a series of yes/no questions to locate the right slim, with butterflies, thong fit, dri-weave, bleach alternative shields that my wife can't live without.
Judith Says: Admitting that you really are incapable is definitely the first step. :)
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January 4, 2008
I have always been taught not to throw anything away, so, you can throw it at your hubbies face, but you cannot throw it away! And you didn't you made good use of it! I would do exactly the same ( face-throwing and all! hehehehe!)
Judith Says: Those stupid pads were twice as expensive as my regulars! No way in hell was I throwing them away… And bringing them back to the store would have been a bit awkward, I think. LOL.
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January 4, 2008
lmfao … i still have tears in my eyes from this and the dogs are scared at the odd braying sound i've been making.
bravo, bravo!!! gotta agree with BusyDad, tho, this does seem to be what mobiles were made for.
Judith Says: Yeah… But that means he would have to think to call me… And, well, that thinking business only works so well on occasion. :) Thanks for stopping by!
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March 27, 2008
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