Judith Shakespeare is a fictional character created in order to make a point. I neither created her nor the point but have shamelessly stolen borrowed both.
She is my Superman.
I am her Clark Kent.
We both blog here.
I am your basic, tattooed, slacker mom of three (Little Man (10), That Middle One (5), The Baby (3)). I’ve been married for the majority of my adult life to a man who looks good naked. I am addicted to coffee, Diet Coke, romance novels, and misplaced cynicism. My Sunday mornings are only happy if they start with a Bloody Mary, and any day is considered a good day if it ends with a good book.
And on the off chance that you simply must know more…
To stalk me elsewhere, check out my social whore status.
Judith and Mr. Shakespeare were married all “spur of the moment”-like in early 1998 after a quick courtship that began on the dance floor at a shady little bar called Fat Woody’s. Judith’s absolute polar opposite, he enjoys things like hip-hop, hunting, college football, and Corona with lime. She complains often about his lack of enthusiasm for politics, literature, and films made in the era of leg warmers and lace gloves; he complains of her adamant refusal to go to bed without finishing a book, the smell of her coffee, and the fact that she tells all and sundry that they met in a bar named Fat Woody’s.
For the intents and purposes of this blog, Mr. Shakespeare is also referred to as Peter, The Husband, and the PPOMM (Pretty Piece of Meat that I Married).
Little Man is currently sporting the shaggy haircut as only a ten-year-old with a new “girlfriend” every week can. He is a brilliant student, a superb kiss ass, and “The Mini Me” to Mr. Shakespeare’s Dr. Evil. Along with the power of super eavesdropping skills, Little Man proudly claims that a girl once called him an alien because of his double-jointed thumbs. A decidedly creative being, Little Man has a talent for art as well as the ability to learn the words to any and
every song in two plays flat. Willing to do anything for a quick buck, he readily encourages Judith’s slacker mom behavior by accepting cash in exchange for quitting Cub Scouts every year.
That Middle One is a ball of five-year-old non-stop energy and smart-ass”iness”. Born a toddler-sized ten pounds, he is a pretty decent replica of Judith as a child- which is great considering she had vowed to die of sheer heartbreak if one more person said “He doesn’t even look like he belongs to you” about one more child. That Middle One spend his days plotting to steal his mother’s last Diet Coke and his nights patiently awaiting the moment when everyone finally goes to bed so that he can get back up and play Ben10.
The Baby is the girl child of this motley crew and is the reason that Judith picked up the surprisingly difficult and expensive art of “boutique hair bow” making. And despite her extensive collection of bows, tiaras, and frilly things; she is also the owner of several bad habits courtesy of her brothers (the least of which is spitting into her hand before shaking anyone else’s). Her favorite word being “cool”, The Baby accidentally learned to count at the age of sixteen-months and, as with all of her clever and fun tricks, deliberately forgets how to do so the very moment her mother is caught bragging about it.