And Just Look What Happened to Ann Boleyn…

Is it time to put up the Christmas tree yet?

Because I really hate putting up the Christmas tree, and I’d much rather it not be time to put up the Christmas tree… yet.

"Dear, your OCD is showing…"

The problem is that I’m never happy. Seriously. We’ll pick a spot for the festive pine, get lit, get it lit, and decorated up like the king’s favorite; only for me to decide that it would look much better in the other corner or in front of the other window… Of course, this would not be a recurring issue if I weren’t in the habit of moving every third Sunday.

"Quit busting my balls already…"

Does anyone else simply loathe getting the Christmas ornaments out of the it took "a little faith, trust, and pixie-dust" to get them in there in the first place plastic containers? What balls don’t get broken during the various moves and lengthy jaunts to the attic are quickly crushed during that afore-mentioned decorating of the favorite… And nothing says happy holidays like a shard of Christmas ball in your heel (especially that shard that will most definitely be found by my heel next July).

"No worries, it came with a little packet of replacement bulbs just for this purpose…"

A Christmas tree is only as bright as its dimmest bulb, right? And what happens when that dim bulb finally decides that being the weakest link on the chain isn’t half as fun as being the black plague of Christmas and ruining it for everyone? Three solid hours of a grumbling Peter peering into the ends of tiny bulbs in search of any indication of burn followed by a midnight run into the depths of hell that is Walmart at Christmas in order to buy a strand of lights to put on the outrageously expensive pre-lit tree that came with an entire bag of now useless replacement bulbs.

Sigh.

Is it time to put up the Christmas tree yet?

Because I really hate putting up the Christmas tree, and I’d much rather it not be time to put up the Christmas tree… yet. Matter of fact, I’d rather line my petticoat with a thousand briers and practice some old-fashioned river dancing.

‘Tis the season,

November 28, 2007
Categories: Daily


1.©2007 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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