Brangelina Ain’t Got Shit on Me…

 

Okay, so thinking of that title made me realize that perhaps I should have married someone with a different name. Try as I might, I just can’t get something as cute, annoying, or nauseously popular as "TomKat" out of Peter and Courtney. Although, I must point out that Peter is (second only to Snatch) great fun on that slogan generator thing (see here). So, maybe the fault lies within Courtney… Hell, it wouldn’t be the first time, now would it?

 

Oh, yes, back to Brangelina. Why the Jolie-Pitts, you ask? I don’t know… I think it has something to do with ego. If you can’t sleep with yourself , the next best thing is to sleep with someone who is just as hot as you are, n’est ce pas? What I really wanted to say is:

 

We adopted.

 

Yep. Decided we wanted another, took a little trip down to the facility, picked out the prettiest one that we saw, paid for it, brought it home and put it to work. Now, before you get all judgmental on me, I really did look at all of them. In fact, there were a couple of really ugly ones that had great personalities. Alas, in the end, I dove directly into the shallow world that is society and went for beauty over buttface. What is it mama always told me? Oh, yeah… God don’t like ugly. Okay, not my mama but somebody’s, and that still counts. My mama doesn’t even believe in God.

 

There you go being all judgmental again.

 

You should take into consideration that I adopted domestically.  Followed Rosie O’Donnell’s great example and bought American (unlike you know who).  Of course, I couldn’t afford such well-bred newborn Americans as she could… but, oh well, I’ll let mine sleep at the foot of my bed.

 

Introducing the newest member of the clan: Mrs. Darcy (also known as kitty-kitty, Darcy, ooh ooh, and "will you catch that damn mouse already, you lazy-ass beast").

 

 

December 14, 2006
Categories: Daily


1.©2006 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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