Butter Me Up and Call Me Happy

We bought a toaster last night.

I know what you’re thinking: Wow. A toaster. Groundbreaking news there, Courtney. But it really is groundbreaking news, and I’m quite happy about it. You see, I’ve never owned a toaster. Sure, we had a couple when I was a kid… I vaguely recall melting pop-tarts and watching in fascination as the smoke danced about the ceiling. However, my mother, a true gypsy at heart, had the lovely habit of packing up the coffee pot and a few items of clothing, then leaving the rest behind as we moved on to the next location (often just down the road). Those childhood toasters became but mere victims in the path of haste and mild insanity. Eventually, they became unnecessary altogether, and I developed a taste for the one-sided argument that is bread from the broiler.

An old friend once blogged about her absentee love affair with the lint brush. She described how she’d often find herself picking one up while shopping and then returning it to some random shelf along the way before ever reaching the check-out. She knew that she needed that lint brush, that she should have one, but could never convince herself that she needed it any more than that nifty little whatever else that crossed her path.

Her lint brush was my toaster.

When I moved out on my own, coffee and vodka became my foods of choice; and, later, when I got married, toast became the least of my worries. Throughout the years, Peter would often asked why it was that we didn’t own a toaster. I never had a definite answer for him and always resolved (temporarily, of course) to pick one up the next time I was out. I’m pretty sure, however, that my lowest point in the appliance struggle came when, a few years back, Little Man was being assessedfor some program or another, and the interviewer showed him a flashcard with the picture of a toaster glossily printed on the front. He paused for a second, and I shamefully realized that my toddler, then four, had absolutely no clue what that shiny little slitted machine was. I picked up one that very afternoon… and then left it somewhere between the toiletry and electronic departments at Target.

Last night, the battle was finally won. A brand new toaster finally made its way to my kitchen counter, and we dined as kings this morning… with our bread toasted on both sides.

February 7, 2007
Categories: Daily


1.©2007 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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