I’ve recently begun making some life changes… Specifically, I’ve taken on the assignment of shrinking my ass. A dangerous project, indeed- Full of peril and pitfall (the shrinking bit not my ass, of course).

And since I’m making such drastic changes in my life here at home (as in put down the chocolate, Judith), I’ve decided to make some changes around here as well.

You see, I love my blog.

Unfortunately, it’s never been a priority… Matter of fact, it’s usually found about twelve stops below the laundry, four below the latest episode of General Hospital on my DVR (I’m a sucker for the cheesy daytime drama, what can I say?), and about two above painting my toenails.

Which is a shame… because I really do love my blog.

And it’s been terribly neglected thus far; and , well, it deserves more.

Unlike my ass which decidedly deserves less.

So the new plan, as of today, is simply:

Skinnier Ass, Fatter Blog.

"Fatter" as in at least five posts a week.

Yep, you read that right. You will now be getting your Shakespeare on five times a week.

That officially makes you slightly luckier than the husband. (Who am I kidding? That makes you significantly luckier than the husband. Woot, woot.)

And I’ll be commenting on the comments now as well. (Did that make as much sense in your head as it did in mine? Good.)

And to start things off all proper and scheduled and "meme-y"-like, this post is officially deemed "Fat Free".

Every Friday, I’ll post an update on how the ass-shrinking is going, thereby making my blog fatter in the process. See how that works? (Now if only I could apply some of that apparent cleverness to fixing the guest bathroom toilet which enjoys reciting some sort of German essay- in Spanish- very loudly. Sigh.)

For example, I’ve lost seven pounds this week (plus two days).

7 lbs.

SEVEN POUNDS.

Seven.Pounds.

S-E-V-E-N P-O-U-N-D-S

Seven pounds.

(Excuse the repetitiveness. It’s a side-effect of the happy dancing.)

And this post officially makes my blog one post fatter.

Yeah, buddy.

Wanna be "Fat Free" too? If you’re working on a project- be it shrinking the ass, saving the lungs, or even breaking the national burping record- just be sure to post an "update" post every Friday (you can steal a nifty button here) and then come back here and leave a comment so that I know to get my *incredibly shrinking ass* over to your place to shower some Shakespeare-flavored support.