1. Your "all too expensive and useless" cell phone "accidentally" falls out of your car window and "tragically" lands underneath the moving tire… Two short days after I tell you that there's no way in hell that you're getting yet another "all too expensive and useless" cell phone.
2. You only know how to make one meal from scratch, and it's oh-so-delicious and dripping with oh-so-fattening goodness that I'm tempted to jump finger-first into the art of bulimia in order to eat a fifth second helping. You fry up another tortilla as my ass grows…
3. You think that this is funny.
4. You take obscene advantage of my loud voice and lure me into the following *very public* conversation about a laptop on display (not pictured) and then proceed to tell everyone and my mother about it every chance you get:
Husband: You sure this is the one you want…?
Me: Positive.
Husband: It's a really thick one…
Me: I can handle a really thick one.
Sales Clerk: guffaw
5. You get a new cell phone, make me fat, shove the poor baby's face into her birthday cake, make me talk all pornstar in front of people, and then you actually let me take a picture of you making this face and actually trust me not to publish it.
Silly rabbit.
Rachel
Wednesday, 21 January, 2009 at 16:31ha ha ha ha ha.
Ummm. I kinda shoved Princess' face into her cake on her first birthday :-) I'm so nice ;-)
Peter's one dinner does look delish!!! Yum!
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:45He makes those tortillas HIMSELF, hon. Delish doesn't begin to describe it. :)
melissa
Wednesday, 21 January, 2009 at 16:33you made me laugh…and my husband just told me to shut up and stop laughing at the stupid computer. yep.
love that pic of your hubby. hil.ar.i.ous.
On Twitter: @ rockdrool
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:46LOL. My husband saw the pic and threatened divorce.
Sandy
Wednesday, 21 January, 2009 at 16:54Awww…poor baby. Tell him he has to wait until she is old enough to shove his face in there too before he can do that! Not fair to take advantage! Big Bully.
;-)
Of course, I would have had to run into the bathroom so she wouldn't see me laugh as well…
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:47I laughed when she finally stopped crying…
Miss
Wednesday, 21 January, 2009 at 16:58I would have made him keep using the phone. *shrug*
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:48I tried that, I really did. But that phone was soooooo dead, even the best voodoo wasn't bringin' it back. (And I tried it, trust me.)
Mr Lady
Wednesday, 21 January, 2009 at 17:03I think that's pretty damn funny, too. :)
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:48… Perhaps we should be spouses. LOL.
The Mom
Wednesday, 21 January, 2009 at 18:35Love it! Come on, nookie with that face, you must! ;) Yum tacos, share a good recipe.
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:50Yum, they were! I'll see if he'll share it with you guys… Not with me though. 'Cause he'd totally expect me to start making them then.
Tara R.
Wednesday, 21 January, 2009 at 22:06So… did you have anything to do with the 'accidental' phone drive-by? That face… how could you not give it up for that face?
On Twitter: @ Tara_R
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:51LOL. That face is only one of many. He'd have buried me in the backyard if I'd have posted any of the others, though.
Ashley
Wednesday, 21 January, 2009 at 22:23Bwahahaha I'm LOVING the birthday cake one. OMG
Ashley
Wednesday, 21 January, 2009 at 22:25PS – I'm so mad at you right now for the food picture. Now I'm hungry. Again. So your fault :)
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:52Blame Peter. I do. LOL.
Roxy
Wednesday, 21 January, 2009 at 22:38Well… I'm a sucker for a man who can cook… even if it is only one (disgustingly yummy looking) dish… I keep trying to convince the other half that pictures of men cooking are just totally sexy and hot and all that… He doesn't believe me… so, cooking and allowing you to take that pic? Oh yeah, it earns something….
On Twitter: @ rochelle_karina
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:53He told me to tell you that he makes an excellent duck as well.
I told him that it's only like once a year, so it doesn't count.
He told me to jump off a cliff.
Bygones.
Qweenie
Wednesday, 21 January, 2009 at 23:30well hell just don't let Mr. Shakespeare expand his menu or your ass will be as big as mine……LOL
and come on who hasn't put food all over their kids' face and laughed hysterically
On Twitter: @ Qweenie
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:54… On her birthday? In all of the rest of her pictures, she had purple snot. I swear.
Katie
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 3:30I think the entire scene is hilarious. You and Peter are absolutely perfect together!
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:55That's what he keeps telling me… (But I'm totally holding out for Clive Owen.)
Lisa
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 7:57First of…I shove the kids faces in food as much as I possibly can. This is another reason I had them. Well other than to run errands for me.
Second…the phone? That wouldn't have anything to do with you, now would it?
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:56Ooooh… I always tell Little Man that I don't consider any of them special until they're able to get me a Diet Coke out of the fridge. LOL.
suchlovelyfreckles
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 10:29Oh my gosh, here I am, while everyone else in the house is still asleep, and I have to keep myself from laughing out loud. This is hilarious.
Judith Shakespeare
Thursday, 22 January, 2009 at 16:57:) He thought it was funny too… All the way up until that last picture, of course. (How's the bellydancing coming???)