So we've discussed Peter's fondness/ability to be suckered in by a wet nose and wagging tail before… Matter of fact, we've discussed it twice. And as sweet and endearing as the man's love for furry little creatures is, it is no where near strong enough to compete with determination of a woman who has no desire to cater to another creature of any sort that expects her to share her lap or clean-up shit.

That said, I'd like to officially introduce you to Lord Dashwood.

We call him "Dash".

Dash is a full-blooded schnauzer that some douche-bagged, dill-holed, bastard dick head locked up in a house and abandoned for goodness knows how long. He was rescued by our local Humane Society last week and shortly thereafter became the latest member of the Shakespeare household.

He's pretty laid-back with the kiddos, learned how to fetch and sit in record time, and even is "almost" accident-free (thank God for tile).

And despite or perhaps because of  his tendency to pass gas strong enough to peel the paint off of my living room walls, he feels like a good fit…

Which means that we are actually keeping this one and not stressing ourselves (myself) over finding it a better (meaning anywhere but here) home.

Imagine that.

But now that 'cold-hearted' is officially scratched-out on the resume, I'm going to have to find something that'll compliment 'Bitch' in its stead…

Suggestions welcomed.