Grab your torch and pitchfork…(On Clever Beginnings, Mis-Placed Endings, & Railroaded Points of Sorts)

One of my most favorite things about blogging is The Title

And not just the title (and subsequent subtitle) of the blog in general, the title of the post itself intrigues me.

As do the created titles of your pictures, your sections, your characters, your persona, your children, your marriage… If you can slap a title on it, I’m interested. And if you can do it all cleverly; I’m not only interested, I’m turned on.

Like a radio, I tell ‘ya.

The art of titling is in fact just that: An Art. A contrary art, to be sure, much like the art of blogging or baking or, hell, even parenting. But An Art nonetheless.

Which, of course, we all know is in the eye of the beholder, n’est-ce pas?

Let’s say you bake a cake from scratch, throwing in this and that ingredient as your mood demands… And it’s good. So good, in fact, that you decide to go and make it an official recipe of sorts and create a permanent record- such as a recipe card or blog entry, whatever– signifying your achievement. You’ve noted down all of the ingredients, the correct measurements, the proper technique, the color of your apron, the set of hair… And the only thing left to do is give it A Name.

Let’s see… You were wearing your grandmother’s favorite hand-me-down apron while you were baking and even used REAL butter like she would have done. So “Grandma’s Chocolate Cake” would definitely be an option. Or perhaps you used two drums of Lady Godiva baking chocolate in the icing and would willingly beat the hell out of your own mother over a slice. So “Slap Your Mama Chocolate Cake” is more than appropriate. But then, of course, it’s the third week of the month, it’s 100 freaking degrees outside, you’re carrying around about ten pounds of pure water weight, and the only goddamn reason you decided to stand in front of hot-ass stove in the first place was because you forgot where you hid that damn bag of Milanos that you were saving just for these kinds of moments.

So you settle on “Have a Happy Period Chocolate Cake”

Because that stupid slogan miraculously made sense to you the very moment you took a bite.

I, of course, download your recipe immediately. Why? Although said recipe title is based off of your own personal experience and emotions at the time, I’m a complete pop-culture whore (and woman) and can truly appreciate your hatred for that fucking slogan. Of course, not everyone has a period (or uses Always products for that matter); so in the end, the title has much more personal value than universal meaning…

But those of us who do have periods and use Always products think you’re bloody brilliant and want to be your friend.

Plus, my Grandma hated chocolate.

The same holds true for titles in the blog world.

At least I think it does.

I love that you make me sing James Taylor and Crosby, Stills & Nash.

And, yesterday, I followed you home [a stranger] from someone else’s sidebar solely based off of the fact that you made a great play off of what has been my favorite novel since the age of eleven.

Just a handful of examples out of the masses…

Like I said, An Art.

And though I know that not everyone realizes that Judith Shakespeare was born of the brilliance of Virginia Woolf and that, in essence, a blog can be a room…

Or that I associate Paul Simon lyrics with cleaning the house because he was in my mother’s cd player on occasion while she cleaned house…

Or Elton John with living in Arkansas, The Beatles with Matisse, Garden State with eBay, marriage with Grace Potter. or the esteemed Cry-Baby Walker with Caramel Pumpkin Cheesecake

Or that the title of this blog itself is based off of a quote from Oscar Wilde that was so perfectly “me” that I couldn’t pass it up.

But some of you do.

And that turns me on.

Like a radio, I tell ‘ya.

And while this topic originally started out as lead-in to how the origins of the title of my last post plays a huge affect on my review of Sex in the City (the movie, not the act), it has turned into a rather pointed little monster of its own. And rather than including the review now and causing you to actually have to use those pitchforks and torches on the gal who hated the movie that everybody loved after reading a post about titles and Paul Simon and chocolate cake; I’ll write-up the review in a seperate post of its own and end this one with a little encouragement for you to tell me about your favorite titles…

And if they had anything at all to do with your period.

June 20, 2008
Categories: Only Judith


1.©2008 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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3.Blog title courtesy of Oscar Wilde, pseudonym Virginia Woolf, design JudithShakes.