I feel a theme coming on…(Not as fun as a ‘whoop’, but it’ll do.) | The Only Thing I Know: A Mom Blog of Slacker Proportions

Hey there! No time long blog, eh?

But to be fair… I totally warned you in a “Caution: Coffee is Hot.” sorta way.

And coffee is totally hot, don’t ‘ya know? But before we get into a whole post about the necessity for stupid human warnings and the impact that they have on society, I thought that we should go over a few things…

Namely, my new shoes.

(If you’re reading me through a reader right now, you cannot see my new shoes and are therefore the outcast in this conversation. That makes you the stinky kid. And nobody wants to be the stinky kid, right?)

My new shoes make the whole place look different, don’t they? Magic shoes are awesome, let me tell you. (Although they would be much more awesomer if they could shrink asses as well…)

And while I loved my old template (and the one before that, and the one before that), I decided yesterday that I needed something new to hopefully encourage me to post more often.

And by the looks of it, it’s totally working.

Although I make no guarantees.

A few things to note:

I’ve added AJAX commenting, so you can see the comments and add your own without leaving the homepage. (Lazy folk unite, yo.) Update: Totally ruined the loading time… and I’m too lazy to wait. So ixnay on the AJAX, okay?

Sidebars have officially become “not-on-the-sidebars” (which are hipper, by the way, and I’m not just saying that because I have them. Really.).

I need more questions for my faq page, so ask me something inane. (Yes, I realize that a lot of you emailed me questions ages ago that I never answered, but I lost them. Lazy folk unite, yo.)

I’ve added a Social Whore section which has all of the updates from my twitter, last.fm, ALL of my blogs, goodreads, and et cetera on one page, thereby making stalking Judith an incredibly passive sport and easier on the joints. (Lazy folk unite, yo.)

Ads, which I will be handling on my own since that woman with the leather corset and whip who complained that I wasn’t posting often enough threatened dire consequences (Under normal circumstances, threats from a lady with a whip would be the cherry-topped highlight of my day… But the fact that she was a chick from BlogHer and was totally serious about the not posting bit (Lazy folk unite, yo.) kind of ruined it for me. Damn bureaucrats.), are now included.

And taking into account the super-duper-wide posting area, I’m pretty sure that I can get away with skipping on the words every once again and just posting a really big picture. (Lazy folk unite, yo.)

Comments, criticisms, suggestions, and faq submissions totally welcome…

Just as long as you don’t tell me to update my “about me”.

Because I’m getting to that.

Eventually. (Lazy folk…)

melissa

Monday, 11 May, 2009 at 21:40

a random, inane question…
hmmm…
if you were sushi, what type of roll would you be.
you wanted random. and inane. brought to you be me…queen of random and inane.

melissa’s lastest bit of awesomeness: Protected: Mundane Monday. AKA…Where, Oh Where Did My Mojo Go? Seems It Turned Into A Rant, Oh My..

Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 15 May, 2009 at 18:39

Answering that question with “Spicy Tuna Roll” is probably a little much, isn’t it?

(Perfectly inane question. You are AWESOME.)

Ms. Maxwell

Monday, 11 May, 2009 at 23:49

Hmmmm. Have anything that needs shaving? If so, what?

Ms. Maxwell’s lastest bit of awesomeness: In like a lamb, out like a lion.

Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 15 May, 2009 at 18:43

My kitty.

(He’s a Persian. And it’s really hot in the summer.)

Qweenie

Tuesday, 12 May, 2009 at 1:02

Yay!! You’re back…..I’ve missed you terribly! I LOVE the new ‘shoes’….I need new shoes…..I need a reason to wear new shoes.

Enough about me, please more about you!!

okay inane question time…….if you could ask ‘God’ one question and get an answer, what would you wear?

love you!!

Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 15 May, 2009 at 18:45

Answer: It depends entirely upon what time of the month it is… Certain outfits only work with certain hormones, you know what I’m sayin’? But I can definitely say that I would NOT be wearing my favorite thong.

I’m saving that one for my dinner date with the devil.

Kathy

Tuesday, 12 May, 2009 at 2:22

Welcome back I missed your post and pictures!

Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 15 May, 2009 at 18:46

Thank you, honey!

Vic

Tuesday, 12 May, 2009 at 4:54

It’s great to see you back!
If you could quit your life for six months (and return after with things exactly the way they were and it being that same morning that you left) how would you spend that time?

Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 15 May, 2009 at 18:49

In a villa in Tuscany… with a naked Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

Jed

Tuesday, 12 May, 2009 at 10:04

Whew, glad you’re back.

Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 15 May, 2009 at 18:50

Well, I’m glad that you’re glad. :)

Tara R.

Tuesday, 12 May, 2009 at 18:16

So good to see you up and back at it. Inane questions? Why did you select Judith Shakespeare as your moniker? I’ve come to the party a little late in some cases, you may have already answered this one, but I’ve always wondered.

Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 15 May, 2009 at 19:14

I’m a huge Virginia Woolf fan… In her essay, A Room of One’s Own, she speaks of a fictional character, Judith, who, as Shakespeare’s sister, possessed the same genius and talent as her brother but, because of her sex and the roles in which our gender have been placed throughout history, never wrote a word.

I told you in the course of this paper that Shakespeare had a sister;but do not look for her in Sir Sidney Lee’s life of the poet. She died young–alas, she never wrote a word. She lies buried where the omnibuses now stop, opposite the Elephant and Castle. Now my belief is that this poet who never wrote a word and was buried at the cross-roads still lives. She lives in you and in me, and in many other women who are not here to-night, for they are washing up the dishes and putting the children to bed. But she lives; for great poets do not die; they are continuing presences; they need only the opportunity to walk among us in the flesh. This opportunity, as I think, it is now coming within your power to give her. For my belief is that if we live another century or so–I am talking of the common life which is the real life and not of the little separate lives which we live as individuals–and have five hundred a year each of us and rooms of our own; if we have the habit of freedom and the courage to write exactly what we think; if we escape a little from the common sitting-room and see human beings not always in their relation to each other but in relation to reality; and the sky, too, and the trees or whatever it may be in themselves; if we look past Milton’s bogey, for no human being should shut out the view; if we face the fact, for it is a fact, that there is no arm to cling to, but that we go alone and that our relation is to the world of reality and not only to the world of men and women, then the opportunity will come and the dead poet who was Shakespeare’s sister will put on the body which she has so often laid down. Drawing her life from the lives of the unknown who were her forerunners, as her brother did before her, she will be born. As for her coming without that preparation, without that effort on our part, without that determination that when she is born again she shall find it possible to live and write her poetry, that we cannot expect, for that would he impossible. But I maintain that she would come if we worked for her, and that so to work, even in poverty and obscurity, is worth while.

the planet of janet

Friday, 15 May, 2009 at 2:38

and it only took four days for me to get back to reading you, too. possibly a world’s record.

the planet of janet’s lastest bit of awesomeness: Richard Gere wasn’t even there!.

Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 15 May, 2009 at 19:15

I’d wait forever for you, love… Four days is nothin’. :)