You know how toward the end of the Ms. America pageant, the announcer isolates each contestant and asks them some inane question pulled out of a rabbit hole somewhere?

Well, if they suddenly decided to have a Ms. "I can see my ass while looking at my front and have to go on a diet" pageant AND for some odd reason I’m chosen as a finalist (after all, "I can see my ass while looking at my front and have to go on a diet but am still smokin’") AND they ask me some inane question pulled out of a rabbit hole somewhere AND it happens to run along the lines of…

"If you had one wish in this world, what would it be?"

Would I wish for world peace?

An end to poverty?

A healthier planet?

Nope.

I’d wish for chocolate.

Because no one should expect a pre-menstrual crazy woman on a diet to be big on the philanthropy.