Irony is the New Pink | The Only Thing I Know: A Mom Blog of Slacker Proportions

So when that man that I married managed to knock me up for a third time, I had but one thought on my mind:

Please let the little bugger be healthy.

And then:

This one better damn well come with a vagina.

Or a gift receipt.

Whichever.

Because, let’s face it, I was terribly outnumbered in that whole ratio of penises (penii? penses? Why can I never remember the plural of penis? You’d think I’d remember something like that… I can totally describe in perfect detail the outfit Brenda was wearing the night that she and Dylan broke up for the first time, but the plural form of penis escapes me. Go figure.) versus vaginas war.

Plus I had serious doubts as to whether or not my bathroom could withstand being abused by one more human being with questionable aim.

And I really really really wanted to stick some pigtails on something. With matching bows. And striped tights. And tutus. And just pink. Pink, damnit. PINK.

Then she was a she. And I stuck bows on her head, and stuffed her in striped tights, and dressed her up in every color of tutu that I could find…

But those pigtails?

They took two damned years to get here.

And by that time, I was bloody bored.

Of course, Peter hates it.

And wonders why it is that his daughter now has shorter hair than his son…

But then I’m still wondering what’s so damn hard about actually hitting the toilet.

So it’s all good.

http://angryjuliemonday.com Julie D.

LMAO. My friend did the same thing to her daughter’s hair. It really sux combing it all out and doing things with it, especially when they are so little. If she was old enough to care for herself, then it’s ok. Although, I’m old enough to care for my own hair and look what I did to mine….irony I guess…

Judith Shakespeare

That was kind of my problem as well… She still had all of that really fine baby hair that literally slipped through ponytail holders, and I found myself CONSTANTLY fixing it every five minutes. My sister (the pregnant chick cutting the baby’s hair above) assures me that it’ll grow thick and straight from here on out. So perhaps we’ll see the pigtails again? And ditto on the hair thing… Mine is similarly bobbed like hers. not as easy to maintain as yours, of course, but close. :)

http://www.diaperstodating.blogpsot.com Lisa

OMG she’s so cute (still no matter what). I hear ya’ on the vagina thing though, but I’m NOT trying again. I live vicariously through all of you guys =)

Judith Shakespeare

Yeah, ummmm, don’t blame you. A single solitary bit. LOL

http://ifmomsaysok.wordpress.com Tara R.

What is it about men and their fixation on women having long hair. Meh! The new coif is lovely!

Judith Shakespeare

Dude, what’s it with men and their fixations period? Odd creatures, they are. :)

http://insaneworld.wordpress.com Sandy

LOL Yea. I got to put stripey tights on my girl this past thanksgiving. It was great…they were red and white…she looked like an elf but without the pointy ears. LOL

I keep Babyhead’s hair shaved. Just easier because he was cursed with his dad’s cowlicks all over his head. :-P

Judith Shakespeare

All three of mine have double cowlicks in the back that each go in a different directions… But due to the fact that they inherited their daddy’s odd shaped head *snicker*, shaving is sooooo not an option.

And stripey tights… don’t you just LOVE them?

http://insaneworld.wordpress.com Sandy

LOL Yea…stripey tights are great. :-D

Well, Babyhead’s cowlicks are bad enough that the longer his hair gets…the more they stick up….but the rest of his hair just lays flat. When he was tiny all of his hair stuck up and it was cute because he had a little baby fuzzy mohawk…but now he looks more like Alfalfa with some kinda weird G.Clooney thing going on in the front. :-P And god forbid he sweat in his sleep! LOL

When he is older if he wants it long that is fine, but for now to ease my headache it is shaved. He actually has a nice shaped head so it is all good.

http://suchlovelyfreckles.typepad.com suchlovelyfreckles

But then I’m still wondering what’s so damn hard about actually hitting the toilet.

LOL, I think I just wet myself , laughing so hard. ;)

Judith Shakespeare

Well I hope you at least made it to the toilet… LOL

http://thegunchick.wordpress.com Roxy

Awwww… it’s cute!
We’ll not discuss the fact that 12 year old boy of mine has longer hair than I…
In English – it’s “penises”
In Latin – “penes”

Judith Shakespeare

I prefer penii… It’s more fun to say.

http://mommyismoody.com Zoeyjane

She looks SO mature. And screw whether hubby likes it, we all know it’s all about making our little girls look fabulous in a way we can’t attain on a daily basis. No? Okay, maybe that’s just me, then.

Judith Shakespeare

I know! She doesn’t look like a baby any more. But she looks so cute. And no, definitely not. just. you.

http://www.lilacspecs.com Lilacspecs

But she’s so cute!!! I think most dad’s are a bit perturbed for their daughter’s first hair cut. Not sure why though.

Judith Shakespeare

Me either… Although he had no problems having my son’s hair cut. Cavemen, I tell ‘ya. Cavemen.

http://www.gliks.blogspot.com Karen MEG

She is just adorable!!! Thank god the baby was a girl; we’re getting a lot of mileage out of the Dora cut too, BTW. She LOVES getting her hair cut. Pigtails are highly, highly overrated.

Your boy’s hair is gorgeous, BTW.

What was Brenda wearing on that episode, anyway?

Judith Shakespeare

That white button up shirt that I made my mom go out and buy me the very next week… She never did find me a matching Luke Perry though. Sigh.

And thank you!

http://immoralmatriarch.com Maria

She’s soooo cute!! But poor Peter. *lol*

Judith Shakespeare

Isn’t she though???

http://www.fromtheplanetofjanet.com the planet of janet

after an entire school year fighting the lice wars (try combing THAT out of waist-length girl tresses!!!!!!!), i was grateful for shorter hair. and it was too cute, too!

now, of course, she’s growing it back out.

so she can have a proper high ponytail for cheer. sigh

love the new ‘do. tell peter to suck it up.

Judith Shakespeare

Dude, I tell Peter to suck it on a regular basis. LOL.

And OMG on the lice wars bit. I’m terrified. Bloody terrified.

http://www.asouthernfairytale.com Rachel

I adore her new hair!!! It is fantastic!!! So cute and sassy, it totally fits her.

Tell Peter, blah ;-)

Judith Shakespeare

isn’t it??? I’m totally loving it.

http://internetfruit.typepad.com Katherine

Seriously, she looks beautiful. I am still waiting for Violet to get anything more than peach fuzz. I’ve been waiting for seven months and am getting a bit impatient. I realized I had given up when I saw the cat running down the hall with her hair clips in his mouth, and I thought “eh, whatever – let them get use.”

Judith Shakespeare

Don’t tell anyone, but I totally taped bows to my daughter’s fuzz… Impatience is my middle name.

http://qweeniescourt.blogspot.com Qweenie

Awwww I wish I had someone to put pigtails on but like Lisa I’m unwilling to try again, ohwell.

Judith Shakespeare

“Try”? What is this “try” thing you guys speak of??? ‘Cause I don’t remember trying anything. LOL

http://www.shere1.blogspot.com Shere1

Your kids are so cute! She kinda looks like Suri Cruise (Tom and Katie Cruise’s daughter… in case you are wondering “Suri who?!”after her haircut. =) Adorable!

Judith Shakespeare

She really does look a lot like Suri… We’ve actually gotten a few comments from people about it. :) And thank you!