It’s Good to be King

My husband is a good-for-nothing cheater.

We all are, truly, but he’s the absolute worst. He cheats our child.

Look… the occasional missing card, misplaced letter, or score manipulation is perfectly acceptable in the world that is hasboro. Hell, it’s expected… applauded really. My sister and I once memorized an enitre box of trivial pursuit cards just to be able to put my mother in her appropriate place… that of LOSER. The guy that takes a bathroom break automatically “loses” $100. And she who makes the most players cry, wins. We gang up on one another, develop intristic hand/foot symbols, lie, steal, and bully; and we do all of these things while following one simple rule:

The baby always wins.

This rule has been around for a decade. Little sisters, cousins, neighbors, the snotty little kid down the road…. whoever…the baby always wins.

Little Man is seven. He loves to play with us but is often limited to the disney versions of trivial pursuit and the game to rule all: monopoly. He manages to hold is own in both (truth be told, he whips us in trivial pursuit on a regular basis… after all, how many disney character can an adult remember anyhow?). Regardless… we never ask him the hard questions, always start him out with more money, give him a chip on non-chip spaces, and make him pay only half the rent. Hence, the baby- most definitely my baby- always wins.

But ohhh nooo… not in Peter World (hee-hee, gotta love it). In Peter World, Peter is king; and no one, I mean NO ONE, sits on that throne other than him. Not that we would want to. He spares not one punch, gives not one dollar, and requires precise phrasing when answering any question. He keeps his lovely paper money clinched in his fist. He never takes a bathroom break, and never ever ever gives the game.

What’s worse… he actually tries to convince my son that trading park place and boardwalk for $5.00 and a get-out-of-jail-free card is fair.

In the end, we all just give him a good “fuck you” look and let him win instead. Now, Little Man just says: we’ll let daddy win once and play again when he goes to bed, okay momma?

For shame. For shame.

July 27, 2006
Categories: Daily


1.©2006 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
2.Subscribe to the feed, the comments or just the reviews.
3.Blog title courtesy of Oscar Wilde, pseudonym Virginia Woolf, design JudithShakes.