It is a capital mistake to theorize before you have all the evidence. It biases the judgment.

Fact:

There are parents in this world who honest-to-goodness think that their teenagers really do need that new car that looks just like the one from that movie.

Fact:

There are children in this world who really believe that the pretty yellow car that just sped by is actually a robot in disguise.

Fact:

There are mothers in this world who will grin and gladly heed a toddler’s call of, “Mama! Follow that Bumblebee!!!”

Fact:

There are teenagers in this world who drive shiny new sports cars and think that the crazy laughing woman in the minivan is having a grand ol’ time and wants them to go faster.

Fact:

There are crazy women in mini-vans in this world who really will be having a grand ol’ time.

Fact:

There are cops in this world who will pull you over for doing a measly seven miles over the speed limit.

Fiction:

There are cops in this world who, when faced with the decision to pull over either teenager in shiny car or woman in minivan, will always choose teenager in shiny car.

Fact:

There are women in this world who have been pulled over thirty-eight times and have never once received a ticket.

Fiction:

There are women in this world who have been pulled over thirty-eight times and have never once received a ticket… without ever flashing an indecent amount of cleavage.

Fact:

There are children in this world who are so disappointed to have lost the chase that they suddenly find themselves with the capabilities to make the worst stink-eyes EVER.

Fiction:

There are stink-eyes in this world bad enough to get you out of a speeding ticket.

Fact:

There are flashes of cleavage in this world that still will.

Thank God.

July 20, 2009
Categories: Daily, I Heart Demerol


1.©2009 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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3.Blog title courtesy of Oscar Wilde, pseudonym Virginia Woolf, design JudithShakes.