What a man will do to avoid his wife.

Meet my dad:

Yes, that’s whiskey he’s pouring.

And, no, as a matter of fact; he’s not a bartender.

Now meet his wife:

She’s the little woman next to him. She’s also his fifth wife. Yes, fifth. As in he married four more little women before her. And at this point, it’s pretty safe to say that she’s just as crazy- if not more so- as her predecessors. (Yes, I realize that my mother is among those four little women… But I’ve never claimed to come from sanity, now have I? Nope. Moving on.)

This is the fourth of July party that was actually held on the fifth of July.

“Wow. Did you guys rent out a little hole in the wall country bar,” you ask?

As a matter of fact…

No.

This is my dad’s shop.

As in the place where he used to park the tractor.

I kid you not.

The man built a bar.

In a metal shop.

Out in the middle of the country.

In a place where you take not one, not two, but THREE rather long dirt roads to be.

All in an effort to avoid his fifth wife… who I’m convinced he only married in order to have a hot dinner on occasion.

Have I mentioned that she sings karaoke?

That’s her back there in the background… singing. She may be dancing as well. And I don’t believe that she had had much to drink at that point.

Are we kind of catching on how she might be someone one would wish to avoid?

And, yes, that’s a karaoke stage.

In a metal shop.

Out in the middle of the country.

In a place where you take not one, not two, but THREE rather long dirt roads to be.

There’s also darts, pool, kegs, loads of alcohol, and even one one of those corkboard things covered in pictures of intoxicated stupid people.

And toy cars.

We finally thawed out about a hundred of those poor little ducks that have been “living” in my freezer since hunting season, though… Peter spent the day wrapping them up in bacon and jalapeños and grilling the hell out of them.

I spent the day eating them…

And running my hand up his thigh every time he tried to win a game of pool…

Not to make the poor man lose… Just to give his opponent a bit of an upperhand.

All and all, it was a very nice fifth of July and a great way to break-in the new shop.

Although God only knows what the man’s going to do to avoid her now.