Classic.
A great word, isn't it?
Classic.
The little black dress… The perfect shade of red lipstick… Chanel No. 5… Jackie O…
(Oh, c'mon, you knew it was coming. The title of this post has the words "nether regions" in it… And that's not exactly a euphemism for "grandma's favorite cookie recipe", you know what I'm saying?)
Don't know what a Hitachi Magic Wand is? Call your mom and ask her.
Seriously… Call her now. I'll wait. (I've got something that'll… ummm… help me bide the time.)
Good, you're back! All enlightened now? Surprised that your mother knew all about what most people refer to as the Cadillac of all vibrators? You really shouldn't be. The Magic Wand has been one of the best-selling "personal massagers" (I think that that actually is a euphemism for grandma's favorite cookie recipe) for decades.
DECADES.
Which is totally why I had to have one.
Thankfully, the guys and gals over at EdenFantasys.com (adult toys, costumes, books, videos, et cetera) are well-stocked in the best-selling vibrator department, and I was able to get one quickly and discreetly (yes, I know what that word means…) delivered right to my doorstep.
Now… this is the part of the review post where I'd normally tell you how to set-up the product (plug it in to nearest electrical outlet), followed by instructions on how the product works (you… ummm… yeah), concluding with my thoughts on how well the product does whatever it is that the product is supposed to do (there are no words, trust me).
But I thought we'd just skip over all of that this time and go straight to the video:
(I giggle a lot here. Consider yourself forewarned.)
Okay, obviously, the wand is for stimulation of an external nature (except for maybe that one time, at band camp), but there are several head attachments available for those of you who are more internally-inclined. And, yes, the thing is far from quiet (he said, "Sounds like a damn car," I believe) but with good reason. (I'm guessing that it sounds like a damn car, because it has a badass motor in it. This is not a bad thing. Trust me.)
But the most important thing?
It makes the BEST. COOKIES. EVER.
In, like, microwave time.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Of course, you do.
Everybody likes COOKIES.
Even your mother.
Go ahead. Call and ask her.
I'll wait.
Angie
Wednesday, 4 March, 2009 at 10:52I have been meaning to get one of those for YEARS! YEARS! Your video cracked me the hell up!
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:43Dude, get one. Like now. Seriously.
VDog
Wednesday, 4 March, 2009 at 13:29OMFG
BEST. SEX. TOY. REVIEW. **EVAH!!***********
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:43I love the word, "EVAH". It's awesome.
Naomi
Wednesday, 4 March, 2009 at 13:37Came by way of VDog …
Classic post!
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:45Thanks for stopping by!!
SPOILED MOMMY
Wednesday, 4 March, 2009 at 14:53oh my goodness!!!
i dont know what made me laugh more you giggling or the actual video….i def. think it was you giggling!!
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:46Believe it or not, that was me actually trying NOT to giggle. I am a miserable failure, obviously.
Qweenie
Wednesday, 4 March, 2009 at 19:16Dood! I LOVE COOKIES!!
I guess I better get over to edenfantasys pretty damn fast huh?
And Mr. Shakespeare cracks me the hell up…..LMAO….I can just see his pretty boy face turn 8 shades of red!
*BTW, I'll try to call ya tonight and I'm sending out a package for you this week*
On Twitter: @ Qweenie
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:47I love packages!! And I love you. More people should send me things, truly they should.
Aardvark
Wednesday, 4 March, 2009 at 21:24I want one! I need more cookies in my life.
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:47Don't we all, love. Don't we all…
Sarah Lena
Wednesday, 4 March, 2009 at 23:05I just did the same review. And while I was ready to be impressed, I was STILL SO SURPRISED at what amazing things.. cookies.. what have you.. transpired.
Simply. amazed.
Cadillac is right.
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:49Me too!! And is it a little odd to feel kinship with someone because you have similar tastes in vibrators? Yeah? Okay, nevermind then. :)
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]
Wednesday, 4 March, 2009 at 23:08More importantly, where can I get that chest?
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:50It happens to be getting on my nerves quite often lately… So I'm kind of considering a rental/loaner program. Like Netflix or something.
Let me work out the details and I'll get back to you.
suchlovelyfreckles
Wednesday, 4 March, 2009 at 23:45Well, this is an unexpected post. Online shopping is great. I love online shopping. Wooohooooo!! I just shopped online. :)
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:51Sex toys are illegal in my state (can I get a WTF?)… So I totally agree here.
sam {temptingmama}
Thursday, 5 March, 2009 at 12:12OMG I effin' LOVE you and The Chest. Sooooo funny!
Great review! And ya, Drew is freakin' AWESOME.
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:52Isn't he though? I tell him on a regular basis that he's a superhero.
Momo Fali
Thursday, 5 March, 2009 at 21:39That thing is enormous!
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:54Yah, it is. LOL. But I think that it has something to do with the fact that it really is a deep tissue massager. For like your shoulders and stuff.
the planet of janet
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 0:29mmmmmmmm… cookies!!!!!!!
(and i dont know why, but it never occurred to me that you would have an accent! heh)
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:57Huh? What accent???? :)
suchlovelyfreckles
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 11:32Hey, I have an award waiting for you… come on over and pick it up.
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:58YAY! On my way…
Joy T.
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 13:35Ok I'm eating an oreo cookie right now and I feel nothing…what am I doing wrong?? Alright alright I get it. I'm old/er not dead. Although that wand might be a great pick-me-up! And a suggestion? Take the shirt off the chest next time. Just saying :o)
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 6 March, 2009 at 14:00LOL. I'll talk to him about that…
Hitachi Magic Wand Massager
Monday, 31 August, 2009 at 8:58Re: "Don't know what a Hitachi Magic Wand is? Call your mom and ask her."
I bet in the future, our daughters will be asking us the same thing!
Hitachi Magic Wand Massager´s lastest bit of awesomeness: Hello world!