Wednesday, July 30, 2008 | 16 responses | Filed Under: Daily & Only Judith
I'm always extra-polite to people who live inside those little speaker boxes at fast food restaurants.
There's always that chance of them doing unmentionable things to my happy meal, of course, but for the most part, I feel a little sorry for them.
They live in little speaker boxes, people.
Now don't get me wrong, this whole "feeling sorry" business isn't something that's based on the reality that they spend their days schlepping about in old french fry grease and horrifically-calorized* meat-like patties (although one must admit that that sounds quite dreadful)… But a job's a job and your dollar spends just as well as mine does.
It's more like a…
I spent six long years toiling away in the fiery pits of retail hell, myself , and would never ever wish such a fate on another human being… kind of pity.
Because, let's face it, people suck.
(This is about the point where I'd go on to describe all of the horrific details of working in a book store where customers (sent by Satan himself, no doubt) truly expected you to know exactly what book they're looking for based off of the fact that they know the first two letters of the name of the minor character who wore a blue hat on page 153. But as gas prices are on the rise and I can't afford therapy of any kind… we'll just skip it, mmmkay?)
But somehow, despite all of this "I survived a sucky job and so will you" camaraderie, I still manage to up Judith's Public Cursing count by a rather significant number every time something like this happens:
Peter: I'd like a kid's meal with a cheeseburger, no onions, no pickles, apples fries, and an apple juice.
Lady Who Lives in a Speaker Box: Can you repeat that, sir?
Peter: A KID'S MEAL WITH A CHEESEBURGER, NO ONIONS, NO PICKLES-
LWLISB: The cheeseburgers don't come with onions. Only cheese, ketchup, and pickles.
Peter: Okay. I'll also have a number two-
LWLISB: [a tad rudely] You said you don't want onions or pickles on your cheeseburger- The cheeseburgers don't come with onions. Only cheese, ketchup, and pickles.
Peter: Yes?
LWLISB: THE CHEESEBURGERS DON'T COME WITH ONIONS.
Peter: I understand that, thank you.
LWLISB: BUT YOU SAID NO ONIONS.
Peter: Okay?
LWLISB: [shaking her little box in rage] THE CHEESEBURGERS DON'T COME WITH ONIONS.
Peter: [looking a little bewildered] As I don't WANT ANY ONIONS, that's fine.
LWLISB: I SAID THAT THE CHEESEBURGERS DON'T COME WITH ONIONS. ONLY CHEESE, KETCHUP, AND PICKLES.
Peter: Yes, ma'am, I think you made that perfectly clear-
LWLISB: SO WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Later on, whilst picking the onions off of my cheeseburger, I suddenly realized that some hells were those of your own making–
Who am I to deny you the privilege of burning in them?
However, even after all these years, I still have no fucking clue which book has a minor character wearing a blue hat on page 153…
But I can live with that.
*This made-up word is used by a professional wordmakerupper. Please do not attempt to use this word at home.
July 30, 2008
I am a professional wordmakerupper too. We should start a league for this.
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July 30, 2008
LOL sounds about right…
pssst… I make up words too, but… don't tell anyone, OK?
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July 30, 2008
Oh the years I toiled in jobs from Hell…I'm gonna use calorized at my run group tonight;)
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July 30, 2008
Wordmakeruppers rock.
Who knows, the way we're going that could end up in Webster's too.
It is ridiculous at times isn't it, that which is the fast food industry.
Plurk. Plurk. ;-)
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July 30, 2008
and JP calls me "High Maintenance" because I get my burgers with no pickles……
man I am glad I didn't get that chic, I woulda been arrested… LOL
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July 30, 2008
i'm totally a wordmakerupper. in fact, i previously made up the word wordmakerupper, so i'll thank you to keep your hands off my vocabulary!
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July 30, 2008
I made up the word "awesomeize" or at least that's what Google tells me.
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July 30th, 2008
I suppose since I made it up, I should spell it correctly - awesomize.
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August 1st, 2008
One would think that since you made it up, you can spell it however you damn well please. LOL.
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July 30, 2008
I make up words all the time, lol!!
Hey, can you email me at themomjen@gmail.com I need to ask you a q!
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July 30, 2008
I love that "horrifically calorized"… sounds so erudite LOL!
So, I'm with you, I always give them the benefit of the doubt, in case they can't hear my order ; but what happened to Peter was ridiculous!
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July 31, 2008
Aw…that person couldn't help it…they obviously never went to school or had parents to teach them for that matter…
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July 31, 2008
I think I've had that SAME conversation with the person in the box, only it was a 'he' in there. That's why I try not to order things differently if possible. I'll pick off the onions. It's easier.
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July 31, 2008
You have totally just awesomized yourself with this post. I wish there were a badge for that. Or a hat. Or some new high heels. Oh well. At least you know you're awesome and people who work in small hot boxes are just sweaty.
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July 31, 2008
I think those people screw with us on purpose. To make their day go faster. I refuse to believe they really are that dumb.
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July 31, 2008
Yeah I'm the picture of politeness to service / retail / people who have to talk to other people for a living folks.
Until they screw something up, then I am hell hath no fury.
Look I gave them a chance ok?
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