Notes On Self, Vol. I

(Not to be confused with Notes to Self, Vol.1, of course.)

This was some of that spreadable VD from the social networkosphere that I picked up on Facebook today… But I’m feeling decidedly unoriginal. So I’m totally cheating and re-using it as a blog post.

Think of it like re-gifting during Christmas time…

Just without the crumpled-up wrapping paper that says “Happy Birthday” on it and the shoe string bow.

25 Random Things About Me That You Never Wanted to Know

1. I don’t sleep. Well, I do… just very irregularly. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I like to be alone, and the only time that I can be that is when everyone else is sleeping.

2. Little blond children creep me out. I blame Village of the Damned.

3. Blond adults creep me out as well. I blame Barbie.

4. I read regency-era romances like I drink coffee and diet coke: Obsessively and Compulsively.

5. I lost myself once. For like five whole years, I was forgotten somewhere between here and there… Parts of me still are, I think.

6. Your college English course killed my adjectives. And I shan’t ever forgive you for it.

7. I love the word “shan’t”. And “onomatopoeia “. And “succulent”. I wish I had the opportunities to use them more often.

8. I hate to be like everybody else.

9. I hate to be different.

10. I’m an impulse tattooer. I literally have to talk myself out of getting a new one every time I’m out of the house by myself.

11. The last time that I talked myself out of talking myself out of it, I simply ripped a page out of the novel that had in my purse and brought it in to the artist. I now have a hand-sized tattoo of an inkwell, quill, and parchment just below the back of my neck.

12. I over-think EVERYTHING.

13. I should totally be working right now.

14. My favorite pair of heels are so high, I lose most of the feeling in my toes for at least three days after wearing them.

15. I glow in the dark.

16. I get both fan and hate mail in my inbox. I still haven’t decided which surprises me more.

17. I forgive and forget all too easily.

18. I shamelessly watch Gossip Girl without fail and, equally without shame, lust after Ed Westwick in a very “I crawled through your window in order to sniff your pillow” sorta way.

19. I speak in movie quotes… And song lyrics… And occasional commercial jingles.

20. … I abuse the ellipsis like nobody’s business.

21. When my youngest sister was little, she held out a can of sauerkraut to my mother and asked in all of the seriousness of a curious child, “Mother, what’s sewercrotch?” And I’ve ordered my hot dogs with mustard and extra sewer crotch ever since.

22. I always keep my kid home from school whenever the class takes a field trip to the local corn maze, because… well… duh.

23. I regularly check the hairlines of my children for the mark of the beast. You know… just in case.

24. Speaking of “mark of the beast”,I think Ryan Seacrest is totally the anti-christ.

25. I’m fairly certain that I could just keep going… But by the time I reach #45, I’ll be telling you all about the nightmares that have plagued me ever since I caught a glimpse of my vagina in the mirror on the hospital wall– just moments after I had pushed a squalling babe from it.

And then it’s all just downhill from there, folks.

So consider yourselves lucky.



1.©2009 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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3.Blog title courtesy of Oscar Wilde, pseudonym Virginia Woolf, design JudithShakes.