I took three pictures of a stop sign, two of my loose change, and one of the contents of my overly large (though terribly cute) bag while waiting in line to pick up Little Man from school yesterday afternoon.

When we finally pulled up to the courtyard and Little Man hopped in, I asked him the same question that I ask every afternoon,

"How did school go?"

Now, I just so happened to have a little parrot in the car with me as well:

"Bubba, how did school go?" (That Middle One, 3, has been referring to his bubba as his "best friend" for weeks now… It's so damn cute, I just want to pluck his "bubba" on the head every time he ignores him.)

"Okay, " LM says to me and then,

"OKAY," he yells to his little brother.

"Hold up, mister… Your brother has been missing you all day. Don't yell at him."

"I'm sorry, mama, but he pushed my anger button."

"You have an anger button," I laughingly inquired, thinking that school must've have gone beyond the borders of "okay" for a little sojourn into the  land of happy metaphors.

He takes a deep breath and then gives me that look. You know the one. That look that lets you know that they really know that you have no clue what you're doing but they're willing to play along… for now.

"Yep. We've all got anger buttons that people can push… Like when someone cuts in line or breaks your toy or doesn't share?  Or like when we were in Louisiana and you found out that Daddy forgot to pay the house bill before we left? You got your anger button pushed then. Remember? Ms. [Teacher Lady] says that when someone pushes your anger button; you should take a deep breath, count to ten, talk to the person calmly or walk away from the situation."

Then came that look… AGAIN.

Sigh.

"I did count to ten," I mumbled in my defense, "Matter of fact, I counted to ten twice and then talked to him."

That look… AGAIN.

"Okay, I talked to him loudly."

A snort and then that look… AGAIN.

"Okay, I yelled at him… But he pushed my anger button, darnit, and he's got some really big, ugly, caveman fingers. Now say you're sorry to your brother and STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!"

Judith's Parenting Tip for Mothers with Smart-Ass Children #326: Never yell/screech/scream at your husband  when one is not sure of the thickness of the walls at your inlaw's house- even IF he did promise to pay the house note before we left for the holidays since we weren't going to be back in time and then didn't tell you about it until it was too late to fix… Stupid, ugly caveman fingers.

Judith's Parenting Tip for Mothers with Smart-Ass Children #327: Metaphors are for the BIRDS.