Nicole Locher is my hero.
Don’t know who Nicole Locher is? Well, by all means, let me introduce you to her… Well, not her, exactly, but her clothing line:
Pretty little shirt, eh? Delicate and feminine with the added beauty of vintage-style embroidery.
It also says “will fuck for shoes”.
See? Right there. will fuck for shoes.
There isn’t a single shirt in the line that I don’t covet more than chocolate-covered orgasms. And trust me, I covet chocolate-covered orgasms. A lot.
"You Suck" This one would be perfect for little league games and PTA meetings...
"I Ain't Your Fuckin' Sweetheart" For those anxiously awaited date nights...
"Best Piece of Ass in Town" Sunday brunch wear...
"I really need fucking coffee" I would wear this shirt, like, EVERY DAY...
"Fucked in the Head" This would be my top-of-the-line, mommy-forum visiting shirt...
Unfortunately, while I have no doubts whatsoever at all in my ability to somehow manage to display these beauties as properly as they deserve- even in a normal toddler-inspired-and-appropriately-censored daily routine such as my own (see proposed schedule above); at $87 bucks a pop, they regretfully must forever remain on my Thou Shalt Covet Forever (Or At Least Until You Somehow Miraculously Become a Popular Blogger and People Actually Start Paying You to Write About Kotex Diapers and Busted Vibrators– Which Ain’t Never Gonna Happen Because You Suck) List.
Unless, of course, you want to buy me one.
Then I’d totally give you that hand job.
Or send you naked pictures of the hubby.
Whichever.
On a cheaper note (although one must wonder how much cheaper one can get than giving up the goodies for a shirt…), OHMommy is giving away a pair of fabulous shoes from a surprising source. You should check it out.
No fucking required.
Maria
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 0:13OH. MY. GOD.
I must have them. All of them. Now. Thank YOU!
[I thought this post was going to go hand in hand with my own for tonight. Damn! *lol*]
Judith Shakespeare
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 0:15…off to check out your post. Still got posting time. LOL.
Shamelessly Sassy
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 0:29What do I have to do for those naked pics of him again? Also, I like you read books. I like most of them. The ones I don’t like, I have yet to read.
Judith Shakespeare
Wednesday, 27 August, 2008 at 16:08I really need to update the read books… Most people don’t realize that they’re actually posts. (If you’re reading this, the read(books) section is links to actual posts- they just don’t show up in my feed in case it’ll bore you stupid. LOL)
And I’ll be posting more pics of Peter soon— between him and naked Beckham, my feed count saw a rather significant jump.
Miss
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 0:34Those are freaking KICK ASS SHIRTS.
Qweenie
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 1:13Okay when I win the lottery (Bwahahahahaha haha ha ho) I swear I am buying us each a full set and hey no hand job required!
I will simply ask for your undying devotion and love….(I’m working my way up to soul sucking ya know) *wink*
Lilacspecs
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 4:51Now those? Those rock out loud. Damn.
Lisa
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 5:25O M G I want, no I need every single one.
Why does all the cool stuff have to be so damn expensive?
Mary
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 5:40I think you should wear the piece of ass one to the PTA meetings, myself. Where do you fnd this shit?
OHmommy
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 6:36Oh my, those are so awesome shirts. I would love to see the face on my PTA mother’s when I walk past them. Ha. I might start saving for one. Their looks would be priceless.
Sandy
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 7:11LOL Those are great.
gigglingrizzly
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 8:16I Want one, or all of them. Make my family adore me more please.
Marie
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 9:38OMG!!! I am in serious lust over *t-shirts*!!!! I want ‘em!! Unfortunately, at that price, I know I can’t have ‘em. I guess I’ll have to have my snarkiness come out via verbal discourse.
the planet of janet
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 19:10oh my god! those are awesome! i need them. all of them!
but could you offer up a NSFW warning next time? (oops!)
Judith Shakespeare
Wednesday, 27 August, 2008 at 16:03Okay, perhaps I’m just too old to follow the lingo, but what the hell is NSFW? ‘Cause I would totally do it if I knew what it was…
No Shushing Feminist Women?
Nudge Some Fat Walrus?
Nom Some Fresh Wasabi?
Nipples Save Fallen Warriors?
Not Something For Walmart?
Inquiring minds want to know, WTFDTM? :)
the planet of janet
Wednesday, 27 August, 2008 at 16:06Not Safe For Work.
:-P
Judith Shakespeare
Wednesday, 27 August, 2008 at 16:11AH HAHAHAHAHA!
Yeah… ummmm… Janet, my love, NEVER READ MY BLOG AT WORK. I say ‘fuck’ way too much and post naked man bits.
Oh! And don’t read Maria’s either. While I only allude to hand jobs, she describes them in detail. LOL.
Shannanb aka Mommy Bits
Tuesday, 26 August, 2008 at 20:36OMG. Those are Frickin’ fabulous1
T@SendChocolate
Wednesday, 27 August, 2008 at 4:12Oh my goodness, those are wild. Can you imagine wearing those to playgroup or Mom’s Club? I want the one that says You Suck on it.
Also? You have an amazing blog template, I really like it.
T.
Judith Shakespeare
Wednesday, 27 August, 2008 at 16:05Me too! I figured that the “You Suck” would be pg-13 enough to pull off… They’ve also got some great ones that are in French (you know, so only the cool people know that your shirt says “little slut” on the collar).
And thank you! I’m rather fond of it myself!!!
LaskiGal
Wednesday, 27 August, 2008 at 8:22Finally. Fashion that says something. You know, I would have been the coolest high school (teacher) ever if I would have had this stuff (of course, if I didn’t get fired first–that alone would’ve made me cool).
Katherine
Wednesday, 27 August, 2008 at 23:06Must.have.the.clothes. Although I am going to have a damn hard time explaining to my husband why I spend 90 bucks on a shirt that says WILL FUCK FOR SHOES. Unless..
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 29 August, 2008 at 12:34You and I totally think alike… LOL
amy
Thursday, 28 August, 2008 at 8:47I want one, no I want all! Those are pretty cool. And I’m thinking the you suck would be perfect for my next ladies’ night out dinner since the hookers all talk about how young I am whenever I go to the restroom. You can never outrun your teenage pregnancies I guess…
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 29 August, 2008 at 12:45*snicker* I’m totally putting that on a shirt…
Jennae
Thursday, 28 August, 2008 at 10:56Crazy awesome shirts! I spent forever this morning just looking at the collection. Very pricey… but so hip! My husband just ran a donation campaign on his website http://www.gorillasushi.com to get himself some new footbaging shoes.. some one actually bought him a pair and someone else is willing to pay for other equipment. I guess you never know how kind your readers can be!
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 29 August, 2008 at 12:49Dear Kind Readers,
Judith really wants a “Best Piece of Ass in Town” shirt to wear to Sunday brunch. And a breast lift. And maybe a new laptop…
Thank you,
Judith
(But that’s just totally awesome that someone did that! )
cardiogirl
Tuesday, 2 September, 2008 at 7:40I swear I am going to save up for the “You Suck” shirt. But I certainly won’t wait for my Google AdSense account to accumulate $87. Because that will take at least another 15 months and I *still* won’t be at the $100 pay out mark.
Here’s a virtual “You Suck” elbow to Google AdSense.
Oh. Right. This is not about Google.
Um, cool shirts.
Judith Shakespeare
Friday, 5 September, 2008 at 3:46LOL. Right on, sister. Right on. :)