She’s Really Not a Whore, I Swear…Okay, maybe she is, but I kind of like her.

Can we talk television for a moment?

No, not American Idol or Dancing with the Has Beens television…

As in The Tudors television.

As in “Bitch, I Will CUT You” television.

Because I’m kind of upset…

They’re going to kill Anne, you know. They’re going to lop of her head so that he can marry that silly little blond chit that I’ve already taken a complete dislike to… (I think it’s the whole “blond” thing. Like a re-worked and not so brilliant and all too superficial version of that Ms. Clairol story by that author whose name escapes me at the moment.)

And demmit, I don’t want them to do it.

Dear Showtime,

Please don’t kill Anne Boleyn. It’s just not right.

Thank You,

Judith

Yes, yes, I know that the ‘ho has got to go… I know it’s all part of the grand scheme of things, yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah. And quite honestly, I was rather looking forward to the whole “off with her head” bit last season-

Regardless of the fact that the beautifully brilliant writers did such a fabulous job of divvying up all that delicious hubris amongst our characters.

Regardless of the fact that they didn’t heap all of the blame upon her shoulders like others.

I still wanted her dead.

Why, you ask?

Because she’s freakin’ Anne Boleyn.

Duh.

But then those aforementioned beautifully brilliant writers went and got even more brilliant (they must sell that shit in the lobby vending machines over there) and made her real. All of her action and reactions, motives and fears, scheming and coveting… They make sense. In a real way (not a I drove eight hours in the freezing snow for this?!?!?!? kinda way).

So real, in fact, that this portrayal of Anne Boleyn is now officially my favorite portrayal yet.

That goes for literature/popular fiction/whatthehelleverelse as well.

And they’re going to cut off her head.

What a bloody waste.

And I mean that quite literally.

History is a pack of lies about events that never happened, told by people who weren’t there.

May 21, 2008
Categories: Prose/Bros


1.©2008 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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