Will someone please explain to me why it is that a child will only willingly and gleefully choose an apple for his afternoon snack when you’ve only one apple left in the fridge?

One apple that was previously scheduled to be eaten as your afternoon snack?

One apple that you don’t really want to eat but will because you’re dieting and therefore hungrier than you’ve ever been in  your entire life?

Definitely  hungrier that that little shit has  ever been in his entire life.

Why is it that when you finally grudgingly give him the apple  (because who really says no to kid who wants an apple) and resolve yourself to that sad little stalk of celery (which is definitely NOT the last one), does your husband feel that it’s okay to roll about the floor in hysterical laughter at the look on your face?

Sadists.