1. Bug Dude
There’s a huge green grasshopper stalking me.
And I’m a little flattered that someone cares enough to do so.
2. Unfriendly Chick
I mean, seriously, I get that it’s retail- coffee-flavored retail, grant you- but retail nevertheless… And working retail sucks all sorts of hairy monkey balls…
A conversation between my dad and my sister.
“Hey Dad, what’cha doing?”
“Watching that new Spartacus show on Starz… Have you been watching it?”
“Nah… I haven’t had a chance yet. How is it?”
“It’s pretty good. Lots of fighting, lots of blood. Good stuff.”
“Yeah, I heard that Lucy…
I had a different title picked out in my head for this post…
But when I sat down to type it up, I realized that I’ve already used it already.
Which totally screws up my sense of creativity, let me tell ‘ya.
So instead of dazzling you with a spiffy…
Sorry I’ve been a neglectful sort here recently… But things stay pretty pear-shaped around here these days. I’m determined to be more thoughtful. Until I do so, however, here’s a little inspiration for your next visit to the in-laws.
And if you happen to like your in-laws (against all…
“Where are you going?”
“To the back…”
“Why?”
“Because you keep looking at me like you want me to die.”
Humph. I guess someone ate his shredded wheat this morning.
When we were little girls, my mother always told us that bringing wildflowers inside the house would make us pee in the bed.
I think I was sixteen before I realized that that wasn’t at all true…
And what a deviously clever mother I had.
My children, unfortunately, are…
The Baby’s name was going to be Emily.
Emily Ellis Bell Shakespeare.
Totally pretentious and totally perfect…
Except for the fact that she’d probably end up in a classroom with 12 other Emilys…
And her Valentine’s Day Cards would be addressed to “Emily12“.
Which would totally screw with my…
I need a mother, methinks.
Not any run of the mill type mother though… more along the lines of the scheduling, uber-organized, “I’ve had a slew of children and could do this with my eyes closed and my hands tied to the doorknob with old shoestrings” type of mother who…