Domestic Goddess is sort of a misnomer in my case. I mean, I am most definitely a Goddess and do, on occasion, have the tendency to be a tad domestic (I obsessively clean and can bake a caramel pumpkin cheesecake that’ll have you offering to have my sextuplets)… but I still can’t iron worth a shit, love foods that come pre-made, and would rather do long division on the back of a cocktail napkin than get anywhere near a scrapbook. So the posts below are those that pertain to my domestic life and my craftiness– mostly the “like a fox” kind, not the Martha Stewart kind.


Not what you need?

When Life Gives You Lemons, Don't Wipe Your Hoohoo with 'Em. . .

Running out of toilet paper sucks…

Running out of toilet paper sucks more than running out of diapers.

It sucks more than running out of milk or bread or coffee or (dare I say it?) vodka.

You know what sucks more than running out of toilet paper though? Running out …

Wire Coathangers et cetera

We should probably get this clear right off the bat…

I am not above pinching my children.

Hard.

Yes, I can see that you are on a date of some sort, and I, for one, am simply thrilled- thrilled– that your many hours of cyber-wooing paid off in the …

Cutting Corners with Chainsaws & Various Other Things That Bear No Relevance

Oatmeal Cranberry Walnut Cookies

Oatmeal Cranberry Walnut Cookies

Please stop licking your computer screen. I’m fairly certain it tastes like ass. And it can’t be at all sanitary…

But if it makes you feel better, the very quick and super easy three step recipe for those nomilicious cookies pictured above can be found at …

This is not a test. Okay… it could be. But there’s no annoying beeping noise, so just be thankful and read the friggin’ post already.

I’ve lost my microwave.

How does one lose a microwave, you ask?

Frankly, my dears, I have absolutely no clue.

All I know is that I had a microwave and now I do not.

I had a microwave in Louisiana (the first tour). I happily nuked stuff in the Egypt …

On the Owning of a Kitten, Part I (A Guide by Judith Shakespeare)

Kittens, my dear friend, are very curious creatures.

They care not a whit for your sensibilities nor your culture and are quite happy to become that thing inside your household around which the entire world revolves. This, of course, may cause quite a bit of concern amongst the small people …

All That and a Bag of Chips… Really.

If I weren’t so terrified to death of Texan drivers (seriously, people, those circles in Houston will make you piss yourself), I’d totally move in with Rachel and Nate and live happily ever after.

Alas, I am terrified of Texan drivers…

But I’m determined to get over that.

Someday.

Until …

Why Don’t We Just Leave That to Ol’ Eddie Boy…

I gave away the dog. You know… the one we found at the shelter? Loved on for a couple of months? Lost? Found? And overall enjoyed?

The one that made me believe that maybe I wasn’t such an evil bitch after all?

Well it turns out that I really am …

… because motherhood is so much more than diapers and spit-up. And a GIVEAWAY!

Community_logo

I wanted to let you all know that the we’ve just re-launched the brand-new MommyMatter.com, which is one of my other sites.

We’ve actually got a giveaway going on right now sponsored by this fabulously darling company called TEAlicious for a custom gift basket with all sorts of great …



1.©2008 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
2.Subscribe to the feed, the comments or just the reviews.
3.Blog title courtesy of Oscar Wilde, pseudonym Virginia Woolf, design JudithShakes.