I am so busy that I’m bored.
I understand that that doesn’t make sense in any other forum other than the one currently in my head.
But it is what it is.
And I am what I am.
Bored.
A few months ago, I found myself in the same small …
The Post Where I Cut Off All of My Fingers… Otherwise Known As ‘There’s an App for That’
My sister and I argue a lot.
Usually it’s over a misplaced movie quote or a she was totally in that other film, she just had a different nose sort of thing…
But mostly it’s over who tried to kill the other last or who’s turn it is to make …
And then Kramer said, “Not everyday!”
Last night, my toddler hugged my leg.
He quickly jumped back with a screech.
Mama, he looked at me with confusion on his face, you’ve got SPIKES growing out of your legs!
I told him that it was how I defended myself against alien invaders.
He nodded his head …
Cutting Corners with Chainsaws & Various Other Things That Bear No Relevance
Please stop licking your computer screen. I’m fairly certain it tastes like ass. And it can’t be at all sanitary…
But if it makes you feel better, the very quick and super easy three step recipe for those nomilicious cookies pictured above can be found at the bottom of this …
This is not a test. Okay… it could be. But there’s no annoying beeping noise, so just be thankful and read the friggin’ post already.
I’ve lost my microwave.
How does one lose a microwave, you ask?
Frankly, my dears, I have absolutely no clue.
All I know is that I had a microwave and now I do not.
I had a microwave in Louisiana (the first tour). I happily nuked stuff in the Egypt …
…And All I Got Was That Stupid Hickey
I once gave one of my favorite pair of sunglasses to one of my favorite rockstars.
He wore them on stage for all of three bars and then dropped them promptly to the floor.
I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
It’s midnight here in Deliverance. I’m leaving at four …
Lady Sing the Blues…
The funny thing about being Gypsy-born is that constant desire for the mundane.
For the standard fare.
For the prince charming, the picket fence, the Sunday dinners, and shiny kitchen sink.
The funniest thing about being Gypsy-born is the inherent knowledge that princes tend to be assholes, picket fences never …
On the Owning of a Kitten, Part I (A Guide by Judith Shakespeare)
Kittens, my dear friend, are very curious creatures.
They care not a whit for your sensibilities nor your culture and are quite happy to become that thing inside your household around which the entire world revolves. This, of course, may cause quite a bit of concern amongst the small people …