Obviously, my definition of the word “Daily” is a tad different from Mr. Webster’s… But as this just so happens to be my blog, we’ll be using my version for the duration.


Not what you need?

Shorn is too a word. . .

I had a different title picked out in my head for this post…

But when I sat down to type it up, I realized that I’ve already used it already.

Which totally screws up my sense of creativity, let me tell ‘ya.

So instead of dazzling you with a spiffy …

Your mother was a hamster. . .

Sorry I’ve been a neglectful sort here recently… But things stay pretty pear-shaped around here these days. I’m determined to be more thoughtful. Until I do so, however, here’s a little inspiration for your next visit to the in-laws.

And if you happen to like your in-laws (against all that …

Shock me, shock me, shock me with that intuitive behavior…

“Where are you going?”

“To the back…”

“Why?”

“Because you keep looking at me like you want me to die.”

Humph. I guess someone ate his shredded wheat this morning.…

and to conclude, they are lying knaves

When we were little girls, my mother always told us that bringing wildflowers inside the house would make us pee in the bed.

I think I was sixteen before I realized that that wasn’t at all true…

And what a deviously clever mother I had.

My children, unfortunately, are obviously …

As Facebook is to Old Bars Named “Fat Woody’s”

favorites

The Baby’s name was going to be Emily.

Emily Ellis Bell Shakespeare.

Totally pretentious and totally perfect…

Except for the fact that she’d probably end up in a classroom with 12 other Emilys…

And her Valentine’s Day Cards would be addressed to “Emily12“.

Which would totally screw with …

Desperately Seeking Mommy

I need a mother, methinks.

Not any run of the mill type mother though… more along the lines of the scheduling, uber-organized, “I’ve had a slew of children and could do this with my eyes closed and my hands tied to the doorknob with old shoestrings”  type of mother who …

Pocket Buddha Says, “Peace.”

Pocket Buddha Says,

Days go by so very quickly when I have so very much to do.

Straight-up and bedraggled, my hair is starting to look like the hair of a crazy cat woman.

Very telling, that.

Must find time for flat iron before someone sees me. A little mascara wouldn’t hurt either.…

I and love and you…

I and Love and You



1.©2010 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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3.Blog title courtesy of Oscar Wilde, pseudonym Virginia Woolf, design JudithShakes.