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Testing…

One… Two… Three.

Can you guys hear me alright out there in the cheap seats? Great. Then let's get this party started, shall we?

Welcome to my first official post from Alabama. Madison, Alabama to be exact. It's a very nice little place just outside of Huntsville whose points of interest include a movie theater that serves both alcohol and sushi, a friendly neighborhood Starbucks barista who insists on giving me free coffee (yippee), and a babysitter in guise of a sister.

A babysitter.

Now, let me be perfectly clear here:

Shoe shopping without any spending money is depressing.

However, shoe shopping without any spending money while you're sipping on your free venti no-whip mocha with an extra shot while your children are happily spending a few hours with someone else is orgasmic.

Alabama  is also home to a bit of family— particularly my mother, two sisters (One fairly normal. The other often referred to as the "cracked egg"), and my niece. Therefore, there has been an inhumane amount of screaming, fit-pitching, name-calling, and all out insanity over the last few weeks… Just like the good ol' days.

By the by, did you know that "Ring Around the Rosie" is actually about the bubonic plague???

It seems that one of the early signs of the plague was a rosie red rash with a dark ring around it…  And since the common belief was that the illness was brought on by bad smells, people carried around poseys and other small bushels of flowers to serve as a counteraction.

That "ashes, ashes" part actually refers to what was left after the mass cremations, of course.

Humph.

I guess it just goes to show that a little tune and a  clever verse or two can make any kind of situation (even the plague) a little more joyful.

Now if only I could figure out something that rhymes with "How in the hell did I forget that my family is totally insane? Isn't that why I've been living so far away from them for so long? Is free Starbucks really worth all of this? And where did I put that bottle of vodka…"

Else I'm just terribly inept.

Which is totally possible.

Need more pictures? Visit Weekly Winners. Like now. Go. Really.

I'm still still alive.

And while things are still really hectic and topsy-turvy around these here parts, I thought I'd sneak in for a minute to say…

Neener. Neener.

Remember when I announced to the [bloggity] world at large that I'd do the deed for a nice pair of shoes??? Turns out I don't have to… Because somewhere out there, there's some awesome someone who will just give them to me.

No fucking required.

(Just some random good luck. And if my luck is anything, it sure as hell is random.)

So here's the part where I say "Neener, Neener" again and post some pictures of my new fabulously awesome shoes that I didn't even have to compromise myself for…

Although I totally would have.

So… yeah…. Neener. Neener.

That is all.

{I'm hoping to have a few great guest posts in the coming couple of weeks to fill in for me while I'm drowning in the insanity that is my life right now, so if you're interested, please let me know!}

And since I've already had the pleasure of dealing with one dead animal this week, it's probably best to not make any sudden movements and inadvertently fall out of routine…

So here are some more pictures of my spawn (backpack is totally the new pink, by the way).

And I'll try to pencil in some chaos and murder in next week's line-up, m'kay?

You totally know the drill.

(If not, that little orange sentence that you just read is actually a link. You're supposed to click on those. No, really, you are.)