the goat and the dwarf and the…

jiff

choosy moms, 2009.

Yesterday, while making what can only be described as the first among the hundreds of thousands of the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that will be created by my hands over the course of this summer, I found myself spending a significant amount of time contemplating the following conundrum:

If I were making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and only had one knife, no paper towel/rag/shirt, and a cold (thereby deterring any preemptive utensil-licking) , would I choose to put on the peanut butter or the jelly first? Either choice, as anyone who has ever made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich knows, results in leftover residue from the other in the jar.

Given the circumstances (and my adamant refusal to explore the reasons behind me being naked and in a bubble making sandwiches), my initial choice was to put the jelly on first… After all, I use the jelly in many more instances where peanut butter residue would not be a welcome nor expected guest than I do peanut butter.

Especially considering that I mainly use peanut butter for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

And one expects jelly on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Even if you are naked and in a bubble.

And then I remembered that jelly needs refrigeration whereas peanut butter does not, and quickly changed my choice. (A little cold peanut butter on my morning toast is better than fungi in the brain any day, I say.)

Satisfied with my answer and duly impressed with my ability to apply logic to even the most mundane and random topics, I began putting away the bread, the jar of peanut butter, and the squeezable bottle of jelly from the day’s lunch…

And reveled in my insanity.

June 1, 2009
Categories: Daily, Only Judith
Tags:
  • http://ifmomsaysok.wordpress.com Tara R.

    I can’t get passed ‘naked in a bubble,’ together with peanut butter and jelly.

    Tara R.’s lastest bit of awesomeness: What’s the hurry?.

    • Judith Shakespeare

      Profound stuff, eh?

  • http://www.asouthernfairytale.com rachel-asouthernfairytale

    “naked bubble peanut butter jelly”
    best word grouping of the year ;-)

    too much girlie ;-)

    • Judith Shakespeare

      … would be better if you threw in a Clive Owen as well, though.

  • http://www.schaererville.com Ms. Maxwell

    Take THAT, Google search terms.

    • Judith Shakespeare

      *throws in a manly “YEAH”*

  • http://www.mainesherpababies.com sherpababy

    peanut butter first, then clean the knife on the slice of bread that is anxiously awaiting the jelly. I knew I was the only one who did this!! today was peanut butter and honey, so I got to go with the the squeeze bottle too. Tomorrow, add the banana – that’s how we keep it fresh around here.

    • Judith Shakespeare

      Dude… BRILLIANT. I’ve never even thought about using the bread to wipe the knife. Kind of throws my whole “I can use logic, neener, neener” plan out the window, doesn’t it?

  • http://whiskeyinmysippycup.com Mr Lady

    Jelly, because you can wipe it ALL off on the other piece of bread. You’d have to lick the peanut butter off.

    I changed my mind. Peanut butter. And I want to watch.

    Mr Lady’s lastest bit of awesomeness: They Say The Sea Is Cold.

    • Judith Shakespeare

      Seriously, why did no one tell me of this “bread as a napkin” business before? Man, I fucking hate conspiracies… :)

  • http://fraukmwest.blogspot.com Kathy

    Boy I thought my inner voice and I had strange conversation but yours are so much better and fun. All peanut butter no jelly!

    • Judith Shakespeare

      Trust me, hon, this was a very mild conversation compared to others… Remind me to tell you the one about the whale sperm sometime. Nah… Scratch that, you probably think I’m insane enough as it is.

  • http://www.qweeniescourt.blogspot.com Qweenie

    I scrape the peanut butter off the knife with the mouth of the jar so I never have that problem…..

    Wish I had a bubble…sounds like fun!

    Qweenie’s lastest bit of awesomeness: I Like Games and Free Stuff too!!.

    • Judith Shakespeare

      Can you get all of the peanut butter off like that??? ‘Cause every time I’ve ever tried, I just manage to get it stuck to my foot. (Don’t ask.)

  • http://www.mainesherpababies.com sherpababy

    Funny that the 2 ladies who live/lived in British Columbia have similar techniques! Except we should be throwing the word “serviettes” around a lot more. And Mr. Lady? If you do it right, you NEVER have to lick it off!!

    • Judith Shakespeare

      Yeah… I knew I wasn’t cool enough for Canada. :)



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