Yeah, well, mine was cuter…

I drove into my hometown sometime around 7:30 pm last Wednesday night. I went straight to Jessica’s house (oh… when I say straight, I actually mean that I drove in circles and got lost twice on the very streets that I traveled on every day of my life until I was 25 years old because I’m seriously dysfunctional like that); she was scheduled to be induced early Friday morning, and we had plans for awesome pedicures and last minute baby shopping for Thursday.

Pedicures and shopping went well.

I picked a post-VAMP-era red and she went with some sort of orangey shade. We laughed at how different we are. But, I must admit, the orange did look good on her feet even though it reminded me of those atrocious candy peanut things that foam in your mouth if you mix ’em with diet coke.

We went back to her house for her afternoon nap, and I headed off to see how many people I could visit in one afternoon. Hah. I got in three. Only five hundred more to go.

Went out and had a few (a lot) of drinks with an old friend. Actually visited the casino first (they encourage sin in Louisiana), but decided that the free Heineken wasn’t worth the money that that little machine kept stealing out of my purse. Ended up at a favorite pub and had a relatively great time. Yay.

Off to the hospital on Friday morning. Jess and her husband left the house around six, but me and ms. hangover snuggled in their king-size bed for a few more hours (babies take FOREVER). Took a bubble bath AND a shower, because you can do that sort of thing with NO children. Walked around the nursery for a little bit and sighed greatly over that "new baby" smell.

The LDR room was huge and the hospital built specifically for labor & delivery, so everything was comfortable and "homey". Her family was there and I caught up on all of the latest hometown gossip just as the nurse announced that she was ready to push. Yipee!! I was so excited! I’d never actually seen a delivery from this angle before and couldn’t  wait to watch the little head "pop in and out" like my husband had described…

Wait…

What was that?

Two effing pushes??? What do you mean two effing pushes and we’re done?!?@!?

Yes, ladies, she pushed twice and out popped this beautiful little girl. No grunting. No cursing. Not even a single murmur of discomfort.

Oh, yeah, and not even a single solitary stitch.

It ain’t right, I tell ‘ya.

Afterwards, I couldn’t decide whether or not I wanted to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek for a job well done…

Or a hard pinch to even things up a bit.

January 5, 2007
Categories: Daily


1.©2007 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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