Call Me When I’m Sober…


Hours to New Orleans from Huntsville  via minivan equipped with 3 screaming children: 7


Hours necessary for errant husband to convince me to move back to Louisiana despite my SIGNIFICANT (Look! ALL CAPS for EMPHASIS) misgivings: 5


Hours to Hunstville from New Orleans via minivan with no screaming children: 6


Hours to reassure me that this was a good idea: 24


Hours to rent truck, pack shit, load it all up: 9

Hours spent convincing me that this was still a good idea: 24

Hours from Huntsville to Lake Charles, Louisiana via slow-ass moving truck: 10.5

Hours slept: 0


Hours spent reflecting on what exactly went wrong in your life in order to end up living with your mother-in-law after all: [censored]


We’re heading back to New Orleans tonight to pick up the Spawn of Shakespeare from my mother’s house. I am tired. I am grouchy. My face has broken out from the stress, and I’ve yet to surface from this cloud of complete disbelief and chaos.

I am in desperate need of a good book, a hot bath, and a significantly large dose of liquid demerol.

I am also in desperate need of a good long look at my life…

This spur of the moment shit is for the birds.

Perhaps it’s time to become boring.

August 5, 2009
Categories: Daily, I Heart Demerol

1.©2009 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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3.Blog title courtesy of Oscar Wilde, pseudonym Virginia Woolf, design JudithShakes.