It’s Either That or Flame-Eating Circus Harlot on a Horse…

I totally had several randomly almost-cool things to share with you guys over this past weekend…

One being a brief dialogue all about my crazy desire to pee on one of those new digital pregnancy tests simply because they seem so much cooler than the ugly “one line means you don’t have to feel guilty about the five vodka tonics that you had yesterday” and “two lines mean say goodbye to your perky breasts and tight ass forever” symbols of days of yore.

Not that there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that I could be pregnant…

Unless Peter’s little manly tubes magically fused back together or something.

In which case, I’d have done drowned myself in the nearest toilet, I assure you.

Now, I’d like to be able to tell you that I didn’t post these randomly almost-cool things (like unnecessary pregnancy tests) because I was busy volunteering at the local homeless shelter.

But I can’t.

I’d also like to tell you that I was taking a pottery class, where I learned to make clay ashtrays which I will now sell on eBay for $200 a piece.

But I can’t do that either.

I’d like to tell you that I was doing the umpteenth loads of laundry that I neglected last week…

Or that I discovered a cure for cancer.

Delivered a baby.

Painted a house.

Changed the oil in my car.

Cooked an eight course meal for visiting royalty.


None of the above.

Because I just spent the last 36 hours playing Rock Band 2 on the PlayStation 3.

And while I may not have done anything as profound as rescuing baby seals from the evil baby seal killers in the world (and you know who you are), I’m now competely convinced that my twenty-year-old plan to be the next Debbie Gibson is totally feasible.

January 12, 2009
Categories: Daily, Only Judith

1.©2009 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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