I Couldn’t Make This Shit Up. I Swear.

I have nothing to blog about. Really.

It’s actually kind of depressing.

But I’m officially holding out for the Twilight opening. And I really really really want to see that movie. So I’m trying my best to keep an eye on my karma and not offend whoever it is that hands out the luck around here. [Insert flashbacks of The Boleyn Incident] So instead of giving some thought-provoking post on how to remove lipstick stains from leather boots and how such an act would fix the economy and give you shiny hair in the process, I’m including a copy of a recent text conversation that I had with my sister while sitting outside [in my car] of the urgent care clinic that she simply had to go to in the middle of the night because she was on death’s door or something.

I’m leaving out the part about the midgets, though. Karma, remember?

Judith: You still alive????

Sick Sister: No, I’m dead.

Judith: LOL. I text dead people.

Sick Sister: Ur stupid. Stuupid.

Judith: yeah. Movie quotes will get you no where. (Plus I only have a limited amount of texts.)

Sick Sister: Saw the nurse. Waiting on the dr.

Judith: Okay. I’m still here.

Sick Sister: U should come in here. i have my own tv.

Judith: I have my own book. I win.

Sick Sister: U suck.

Judith: :)

Sick Sister: Did you just waste a text sending me a smiley face?

Judith: Well it was better than wasting it on sending you this: !@W%E^&%&T*&T*&T*&%&^%^%$^%#$@#$@

Sick Sister: Stupid I say.

Judith: This is me ignoring you now. [Crickets]

Sick Sister: Stuck a big q-tip up my nose. Think they poked my brain.

Judith: Not possible. And ewwwwwwwwww.

Sick Sister: Gross, right?

Judith: Yup. And would you hurry up the fudge up already? I’ve got vats of Mexican penicillin at the house. The directions are all in Spanish, but I’ll fix you for free.

Sick Sister: Saw the dr. They have to take the leg…

And then we talked about midgets.

Yeah…. I’m not going to get to see that movie, am I?


However, for those of you actually dedicated enough to read an entire blog post about an inane text conversation, the first person to identify the movie reference gets a nifty magnet. Oh. And the dead people one totally doesn’t count. I’m easy in an entirely different manner, I assure you.

November 17, 2008
Categories: Daily, Only Judith

1.©2008 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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3.Blog title courtesy of Oscar Wilde, pseudonym Virginia Woolf, design JudithShakes.