My Parents Went to Fiji… And All I Got Was This Stupid Lump of Coal. (A Shakespearean Christmas Poem)


My Parents Went to Fiji… 
by Judith Shakespeare

Special delivery

delivered today.

A check! A check!
A check, I say!

Our Christmas Club Savings
have come at last.

Finally, here is the money
that I saved all this year past.

Opening the envelope,
I’m bouncing with glee.

How much money’s in there?
Everyone is begging to see!

"Pay to the order of,"
as it says on that first line…

Followed quickly by a resonating
"One dollar sixty-nine…"

Not quite enough for a pony,
that race car or a new Wii.

Or even that noisy action figure
or stupid doll that can pee.

So I didn’t save all that much,
even though it was my job.

Too busy with new houses, ghostly visions,
and stalkers named "Bob".

Alas, it nigh time for Christmas;
the day’s almost here.

The children are expecting so many
presents most expensive  dear.

Oh, what am I to say when looked upon
by those sweet little eyes so sad?

That’s easy, of course,
I’m just gonna blame Dad.


Yes, I seriously got a check from the bank today for $1.69. It seems that we may have opened a Christmas savings account at one point, although neither one of us remember doing so. It also seems like even on the most subconscious level, we  knew the account was bound to be a failure.

And, yes, I know that it all spends the same. But, c’mon, the thought of taking that to the bank is almost embarrassing.

I say almost because you know what?

It does all spend the same… And that’s a whole half a cup of a Starbucks Venti Mocha. :)

Have a happy shopping season, my loves!

December 6, 2007
Categories: Daily

1.©2007 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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3.Blog title courtesy of Oscar Wilde, pseudonym Virginia Woolf, design JudithShakes.