No, Seriously… I’m Dirty.

Only Judith

Native Americans once believed that a woman was so “unclean” during her period that she had to be quarantined away from the rest of her tribe in order not spread the bad juju to the mighty men-folk or make all the buffalo die or something equally horrendous and superstitious.

Now, the feminist in me could sit down right this minute and write a 700 page thesis on how women have been subjugated to bottom rung and bearers of all that is wrong with the world by that ancient “He-Man Woman Hater’s Club” since the beginning of time…

But the uterus in me wants to be banished to her own tepee away from everyone else.

And maybe go to the bathroom by myself every once in a while.

And some chocolate.

Overheard in Shakespeare-Ville

“… Did you mention to your mother about all of the problems you’ve been having with your truck lately?”

“No. She’ll just tell me to play some Christian music and turn it up loud enough for the engine to hear it.”

Random News & Updates (And A Lot of Boob)

  • I’m posting a hodge podge of random crap that I’ve decided to count as a full blog post because my boobs hurt too much for me to post that tale about how my camera will not get me killed in Mexico regardless of killer vines and my husband’s lack of appreciation for cheesy horror flicks.
  • I’ve added a new Design Shoppe to JudithShakes Designs so there will be lots of new templates coming… as soon as my boobs stop hurting.
  • Who the hell judges by a tenth of a point?? Seriously? The people behind the whole sports thing (and Mr. Potato Head) are anally nutterific.
  • Nutterific: the art of being a stupid olympic gymnastic judge (or Hasboro) who is obviously whole number intolerant.
  • Queen Wordmakerupper: That’s Me.
  • My photo was picked as a finalist for the 5minuteformom contest that I posted about the other day and I’d really really appreciate your vote (Go here, Pick #16, Now, Thank You). I’d offer to love you long time, but my boobs hurt.
  • Have I mentioned that my boobs hurt?
  • This was the spot where I was going to list all of the synonyms and euphemisms for breasts, but feel that maybe it would be a little much. Even for you guys.

Don’t Make Me Write A Letter…

Dear Guy Who Thought Up the Sequel to The Lost Boys,

If gas weren’t so expensive right now, I’d totally make the drive to toilet paper your house.

The Girl Who Big Puffy Hearts Young Jason Patric Even Though She Couldn’t Eat Chinese Noodles for Years After That One Scene

Your Buffalo Are Sooooo Dead, Dude…

“I think that that color might look really good on me…”

“You know what else would look good on you, don’t ‘ya?”

“Shut-UP, Peter.”

August 15, 2008
Categories: Daily

1.©2008 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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3.Blog title courtesy of Oscar Wilde, pseudonym Virginia Woolf, design JudithShakes.