..Of Men, Boys, and Other Novelties of Nature

More Roses

I forgot my kid’s valentines.

To be fair, though, I didn’t receive his class list until Wednesday evening, for a party on Friday. A list that I had already determined wasn’t needed since it took so long in the coming. And, well, once I’ve convinced myself of something*, pretty much nothing else will do- even if I thought that the fourth grade seemed a little early to be giving up on the candy hearts and glitter cards and such.

So when he stuck it up on the fridge Wednesday, I vehemently promised myself that I wouldn’t forget to pick-up a couple of boxes sometime on Thursday.

Which totally guaranteed that I forgot my kid’s valentines.

Frantic, I called Peter just after school began on Friday and told him to stop by Wal-Mart and pick up enough cards/candy for about 24 kids. Oh, and don’t forget a box of chocolates for his teacher as well. He huffed and puffed, of course, but had me on the phone within about thirty minutes:

“Okay, what do I need to get again?”

“A couple of boxes of cards and some candy of some sort… Better yet, buy a couple of boxes of the cards that come with the candy and make things easier on yourself.”

“Looking… Looking… Okay, all I see is Spongebob and Spiderman.”

“Get a box of each. Variety is the spice of life, after all.”

“*Snort* You get weirder every day, you know that?”

“Yep. Be sure to get the teacher one of those big heart-shaped boxes of chocolates too.”

“Okay, got it. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Fifteen minutes later, he walked through the door with, like, six bags of stuff… Much more than what was necessary for a couple of boxes of cheap valentine cards. Turns out he bought 24 little boxes of chocolates that were a buck each ($24) rather than a one or two boxes of silly cards ($3).

Teach me to be forgetful, eh?

Not having the time (nor the breath) to squabble over the silliness of man (who ever does?), I addressed them all quickly, shoved them and the teacher’s box in a huge Barnes&Noble bag, and dropped them off at the school office just in time.

Fast forward a few hours…

“Little Man, how did your party go today? Did you get  your valentines in time?”

“Yes m’am, and it was fun.”

“Did the kids like the boxes that your Dad picked out?”


“How about your teacher? Did she like her chocolates?”

“I guess so. She didn’t say anything.”


“I don’t think she likes Sponge Bob.”

“Sponge Bob…? Wait. You didn’t give her that big box of chocolates?? The one with her name on it???”

“Oh, I must have missed that one…”

“You couldn’t have missed it. It was like ten times the size of the other ones.”

“Oh. I think that I may have given that one to Megan on accident.”

“What do you mean “on accident”? It had your teacher’s name on it… ”

“Oh. Sorry. Didn’t see that.”

“…And isn’t your girlfriend’s name Charlotte?”

“Yes, m’am.”


Obviously the silliness is easily passed to the young ones.

And incredibly potent.

God help us all.

*FYI, I’m totally convinced that Elvis is alive and working in a gas station in Possum Grape, Arkansas. Just in case you were looking for him or something.

February 18, 2009
Categories: Daily, I Heart Demerol

1.©2009 by Courtney Hebert as Judith Shakespeare.
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3.Blog title courtesy of Oscar Wilde, pseudonym Virginia Woolf, design JudithShakes.