“Dude, that gun shop has tasers. Like pink tasers. I so want a pink taser. Are you gonna buy me one?”

“Hmmmm.”

“I mean, really, don’t you think I need a taser? It’ll, like, keep me safe and stuff…”

“Well, if you start working at night or something then, yeah, it would probably be a good idea. But there’s no way in hell that I’m buying you a taser right now.”

“Wha?!@?#? How come?”

“Judith, I’m not stupid. Who do you think will be the first person to get tased whenever you get pissed off? And keep in mind that you get pissed off a lot.”

“I promise I won’t tase you. CROSS MY HEART.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“No realllllly. I promissssse not to tase you. Ever.”

“Uh-huh… And when I’m writhing on the floor in pain after being tased with a pink pocket-sized taser by my lovely wife, and I’m looking up at you saying, “You promised not to ever tase me!” You know what you’ll say?”

“What?”

“I lied. Then you’ll probably tase me again. Whore.”

“… yeah. I probably would.”

We have obviously been married too long.

7/365: The Baggy Jeans

8/10: I Have a Headache

9/365: Under the Hat (pardon the cleavage)

10/365:... Of Mine

11/365: Judy is a Punk

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